He Did Have A Bigger Gun, After All

Okay, so I am not an innocent. But neither are my kids.  They've been coming to the Festival since they were five years old, for God's sake.  They've been exposed to the bawdy language and double entendres for many seasons.  And so it was that when we were talking about last night's play at breakfast, and I made a joke about one of the plot points, and they protested that I was being "too dirty," I cried foul.

You can't tell me that if one of them had thought of it first, they wouldn't have said it and laughed.  They were just jealous I got to it first.  That, and they're uneasy about having a mother who makes clever sexual references.  Well, tough *****.  It's part of my personality, and I wasn't saying it in front of their friends.  It was just the four of us around the table.

We'd been discussing whether Cressida was a faithless **** or a victim of circumstances.  When she left Troilus and was with Diomedes, it was because it was at her father's command.  So it's hard for me to blame her.  She is a good girl.  After all, look at what happened to Juliet when she chose to disregard her father's choices for her future.  There are a lot of parallels between the stories, of course.  T & C have a limited knowledge of each other, and a very short window of time they've been together physically, and it's not officially sanctioned.  It's mostly hormones, I think.  Like R & J.  And Diomedes isn't a bad man; he is better than the rest of his bunch, from whom he protects Cressida.  So I'm less inclined to judge her for being with him.

Part of it, though, may well be that I like the actor who played Diomedes.  He has a very nice voice.  I've seen him for several seasons at the Festival.  Sixteen.  Yeah, he's older.  He made a great Hotspur, a wonderful Oberon, a fine MacDuff.  We have a bit of a history, this guy and me.  I pointed out that Cressida was getting a good deal with this fellow, that he was cuter than the Troilus actor.  My children groaned.  "He's so short!" said my daughter.

"Height isn't everything," I said.  Her father and brother looked at me.  They are both six footers.  "He's lovely, and he's more of a man than Troilus, even if he is shorter."

"That scene where he and Troilus face off was good," conceded my son.  "Where he let him know that he wouldn't be pushed around.  Remember?  Troilus pulls a gun on Diomedes, telling him "Though the great bulk Achilles be thy guard, I'll cut thy throat."

As usual, I marveled at my son's almost photographic memory for text.  He'd heard the line once, yet he was able to recall it.  Mind you, he couldn't do that with the whole play.  Just key segments.  But, still.  Impressive.

"Yeah," continued his sister.  "And Diomedes tells him he'll do what he wants. When he pulls out that huge gun as he speaks "no."

O, be not moved, Prince Troilus:
Let me be privileged by my place and message,
To be a speaker free; when I am hence
I'll answer to my lust: and know you, lord,
I'll nothing do on charge: to her own worth
She shall be prized; but that you say 'be't so,'
I'll speak it in my spirit and honour, 'no.'

"Obviously Cressida was impressed by the size of his gun," I said with a smile.  "See, height doesn't matter when you have a big weapon."  My children looked at me and groaned. 

"Do you always have to do that?"  asked my son.  "Make it about sex?"

I looked at him appraisingly.  "Darling, I don't make it that way.  It IS that way."

The man at the table beside ours caught my eye and nodded his head.  He gets it.
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
3 Responses Sep 22, 2012

Hey you have your moments too, Milky.

You sound like a great parent,children should be encouraged to explore all area's.

Thanks. I'd like them to explore getting jobs after school, but the skill of analyzing Shakespearean works doesn't yield a lot of positions at their age. Perhaps I should focus on getting them swimming lessons so they can lifeguard.

Think of what they learnt there are some great morals in shakespear that they might have subconiously picked up!

Your children are very bright and insightful.

They do have their moments. :-D