So Lonely

I am a mum of three beautiful sons who i adore ages 21yrs from previous marrage,in that marrage i also had a still born baby girl full term,never got over it. then married again and had two more boys age 4yrs 8yrs if my husband had his way i would not have the boys with him as he was scared of being a father because of his bad childhood. we have been together 16yrs married for 11yrs and im am so desparate to try for a daughter, but he doesnt want to know hes is even prepared to split up over this i dont no what to do because i want it so bad i dream about it every night. Ihave even taken up lots of hobbies to take my mind of it ,bought a puppy but nothing helps as im so desparate, his excuse is that he is to old and so am i,he is 46 and im 39 i dont think it is to old.Im know even thinking maybe we should split up`do it on my own get a ***** donor thats how desparate i am. I realy need to talk to someone about this not any of my friends as they wont uderstand they would say im mad is there anyone out there who will understand me  please
fushia fushia
36-40, F
Aug 14, 2007