Strange How Life Happens

After I wrote my first entry I sat down with my homework and a hot cup of coffee. Baby played with his blocks and I turned on some background noise. I put my legs under my seat and picked up my pencil only to be interrupted by him. I picked him up and we bonded, and I put him back down. He started to whimper a bit, he wasn't hungry, he didn't want to be carried, he wanted my pencil which I hid. Then he starts to cry. "Here we go" I thought.. I've never experienced a tantrum like THIS before. It's not anything I've read about in any of the books, not at this age anyway. I feel like I'm in a grey area.

He started spitting, growling, and his head started to spin backwards. I just sat there in amazement. I've never in my life experienced this type of blind rage, anger, sadness, and whatever other feelings a baby feels when this happens. First one. He does whine and cry but this, this is the first one. (I'm sure it's not the last.)

I'm not going to lie, I started to snicker. "Really!? Is this really happening?"

He is currently crying. I don't like hearing him cry, so I'll usually do anything to make him stop. I'll feed him, carry him, take him outside, anything. That sound just kills me in all ways. . . but this this time I'm letting him cry.

Having things out in front of me in words, being able to re-read and figure out my feelings feels good. Better then any bubble bath could ever do. Maybe I'll make it to class tomorrow.

ironic07 ironic07
22-25, F
Feb 7, 2010