Motherhood Is So Hard

I found out recently that my daughter has been getting bullied at school, she is in the last year of primary school and I found out by accident. We have given her a mobile phone and just like the computer we check her activity by reading her messages. We don't make a big issue of it and only make her aware if there is something that is of concern. I checked her messages and found lots of abusive messages from a boy in her class, I went into the sent messages just to be sure they weren't behaving as bad as each other. I found her responses to be fine, she was just asking why he was saying these things. I spoke to her about it, she said she didn't know why he'd been sending them but had told him I knew and apparently he'd apologised. I was all for going into school about it but she insisted it was fine and I really didn't want to make things worse. I kept an eye on the situation, and kept asking her about any problems she'd been having at school. After a couple of days I still wasn't happy with the situation, the messages were really bad and quite threatening. I also found out that it had been much worse than she'd originally said and this boy was getting other kids to be horrible to her in school and she was resorting to play with the younger kids. Apparently no-one wanted to cross this boy and by being friends with my daughter the other kids were worried he'd fall out with them. Lots of name calling and personal comments were being made, I'd also noticed she was becoming quite body conscious and didn't want to go swimming etc. I called the school, and ironically the teacher told me another parent had been in and raised a concern because her child had come home saying he was upset at the way my daughter was being treated. The teacher wasn't aware of the messages but did take my concerns seriously, and is planning on seeing the boys involved and getting their parents into school. This was on Friday evening, and over the weekend I've since found out that these boys had set up a group on a social networking site saying how much they hate my daughter. The group has since been deleted, but I'm furious and heartbroken for her all at once. I don't allow my daughter to be a member of these sites, (another child had told her) because she isn't legally old enough to join. Neither are these other children, I'm outraged that their parents would allow them to be on these sites, and am seriously considering reporting all of these accounts so they will be removed from this site. 

My lovely daughter has been so brave about all of this, never once complained and just tried to deal with it herself. even now she is worried that the other kids won't be her friend because of this kid. It's heartbreaking, she was crying tonight and while I'm trying to be all adult about it I feel an anger I can't describe toward this child and his bullying behaviour. The school are great and I know they will address this very harshly, but it still pains me. It's just so hard trying to console a little girl who is scared and feeling alone. I know this is probably the tip of the ice berg where bullying is concerned so I really empathise with parents of children going through worse situations. Hopefully this can be resolved and these kids will realise how horrible they'v'e been. 


writingbug78 writingbug78
31-35, F
2 Responses Feb 28, 2010

Thank you both for your lovely words of support, I have now addressed the problem with the school and they have been wonderful in dealing with the problem directly and swiftly. My daughter is now much happier and in turn I feel better, I will continue to monitor the situation. <br />
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Thanks again for your comments, they were much appreciated.

I have no experience of bully as my daughter is only 2 and a half, but i felt the need to comment.<br />
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You are such a wonderful mother. Because of you, your love and support, your daughter will turn out to be a fine,strong and wonderful woman when she grows up.<br />
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I know i havent given you any helpful advice towards your daughters problem, but i really wanted to tell you that your baby will overcome any hurdle with you as her mother.