A Lesson In Respect
I was having a great day with my youngest son, Tim, last Saturday. He wanted to try his hand at baking so after lunch I helped him with a blueberry jam muffin recipe. Then later on in the afternoon he surprised me by saying that he would be cooking supper. He made delicious Cajun shrimp served on buttered noodles.
After supper I started doing the dishes at a leisurely pace. I had been soaking the muffin pan because jam that has been baked is very sticky. I washed everything else and left the pan for last. I was washing the pan with a dish cloth when Tim came bounding into the kitchen. He looked at what I was doing and uttered that hated phrase, ''you're not doing it right''! UGH!!!! Those dreaded words immediately brought back memories of when my husband used to say them to me-you're not vacuuming right-you don't drive right-you can't slice tomatoes right....etc-ad nauseum.
I managed to not lose my temper, I sat down, and told Tim to finish washing the pan, which he did and he proceeded to show me the ''right'' way to was the pan by picking up the soap pad. ''See Mom, it's much better and faster this way'' he said. I asked him to look at the half of the pan I had already washed with the dish cloth. ''Is it clean?'' I asked him. ''Yes'' he answered. I explained to him that there is usually more than one way to do something and that most of the time the speed at which it is accomplished is of little importance as long as it gets done. I also told him how hurtful that was to tell someone that they were doing it wrong. I told him that I am always open to suggestions, but being told that I'm doing it wrong will immediately close my mind and further suggestions will most likely go unheeded.
I know that Tim didn't mean to be hurtful, but I couldn't't let this slide. I told him that by pointing out how hurtful that phrase is, I had helped prevent many arguments and resentments with a future wife. In the end, that is much more important than a clean muffin pan.