Hi there,

I started a nanny (live-out)position with a new family about a month and a half ago, and I'm still in the stage of feeling the children out. The mother originally told me that although the last nanny was great, the kids walked all over her and she didn't discipline them. I , of course, took this as a challenge because I usually have no problems setting ground rules and getting kids to respect me.

Well I was wrong. Three boys, each with specific discipline problems and I have no idea where to start. The youngest one is always yelling & throwing a temper tantrum, the middle one has severe anger issues, and the oldest just eggs the other two on.

My biggest concern in this incident, is a selfish one. I am VERY concerned about liability. Let me explain, I had one of the children accuse me of choking him when I was spinning him around (like a helicopter) I had another child stick his whole body out of the window when I was driving. I feel like in this biz, your whole situation is based on your reputation and once it's gone ,it's gone.

I know i'm a great nanny, and fortunately the parents think I am too (based on what they tell me) but I don't ever want to be put in a position where it's my words against the kid's.

Do you all have any stories or suggestions? Anyone dealt with this?
meagang07 meagang07
2 Responses Nov 30, 2012

I am a nanny, I am 48 and have worked over 20 years. I have the same problem in France, 4 boys who have been through 6 nannies in two years !! The mother had rules that change, they are home schooled and are not allowed to have friends! The father has again other rules, the grandmother has none! I am supposed to follow the rules written in the fridge except for the days we don't have any rules ! I get bitten, kicked but am not allowed to discipline then only tell the mother !!!! They are allowed to play with tools ( two years, five, six, and eight) even electric and if I don't like it I am to follow them around until they don't want it any more. No tv, no video, no Internet, no friends allowed. They scream and fight none stop ! For the first time in my life I can not cope ! Help !

you obviously cannot control them either, keep them safe, don't allow them to hang out a car window. My advice is you should make a deal with the kids, you will listen to them, do what ever they want, obey them. Tell them you are the child, they are the nanny and then misbehave. Tell them to discipline you, see what happens, but you have to go all out on this one. If you are stood in the corner, you stand there, if they spank you, then go with it. Make like it cries, stomp your feet. Say I don't want to. Let them be the boss, because they are already. Just keep them safe!