What Would You Do In This Situation?

I have been nannying for this family now for almost a year. I love my job and everything for the most part has ran smoothly. However, I have noticed something that concerns me. The little boy (who is 5) seems emotionally disturbed. I say this after I have been educated on it, done research, and observed and babysat many cildren. He is a smart little boy and I really care about him a lot and it worries me. He seems angry most of the day, is violent when he gets upset, cruel to animals, and just doesn't quite seem like a typical 5 year old boy. I talk informally to the mother but still not completely open. I am no doctor so I can't diagnose anything but something just doesn't seem right. I'm not sure how to, or even if I should tell his parents. I'm worried they would take it the wrong way and I could lose my job. What would you do?

Berry19 Berry19
18-21, F
4 Responses Mar 4, 2010

Sounds like he wants attention. Are you able to devote all of your time to him? The more he knows you care, the less he will misbehave. Probably, the main problem is not enough time with parents, but possibly you can help.

Hi this sounds like the little boys i look after and he always seems generally angry at the world
the same with animals
i have worked with them for only 4 months now and he has really started bonding with me and had improved a lot but when i see him with his mum it is very unnatural and he spends and lot of time hitting her she excuses all of his behaviour because he has had a lot of change nursrey and nannies and think she doesnt particulary spend much one to one time with him
i think he knows its not typical of a mum cause always says the other children mummy and daddy pick them of from nursery he also makes up things he says him and mum have done together when they havent
have you explored things like this

I would keep a note book of things he does and says that worry you, And in the good things so it is not overly negative for the parents. I would do it daily and leave it out for them to see. Say one of my other nanny friends does this and make it sound fun.

I think that as caretakers we often notice things that the parents might not see, or even be ignoring. If you have been around this family for a long time then I would say your intution about whether something is wrong is probably something you can trust. If his moods are unusually exagerated then I would suggest maybe trying to narrow it down to a few things you think it could be, autism, bi-polor, etc. And then maybe really research the symptoms for those things and watch for them. Then maybe make note, or keep track of specific incidents where he throws his fits. Then after sometime, and with your research to back you up re-approch the parents. But remember to be gentle, no one wants to admit something is wrong with their baby. Just try to reassure them that it's out of concern for the child and not a criticism. Also, talking to someone at a daycare, who is maybe trained a bit more in what to look for could be helpful.