In My Head

Everyday I walk through the hallways and the street and I feel people should be looking at me and admiring me. I often dream of greatness and I feel this desperate need for being royalty. I day dream all day about how great the future will be, and in my vision I have lots of money, houses everywhere, a rich and good looking husband, and I have literally single handedly saved a whole country from poverty. Sometimes I over exaggerate the things I do. I feel like have to matter. Sometime my dreams feel so real I can't tell between what's real and what's a dream. I don't feel like anyone can understand me but old Russian Royalty, or a sad maiden from some book i read. I recently realized that this may be signs of a Narcissistic Personality. I'm scared. I don't want my reality broken again. It feels like since my dad died and my family lost everything I try to keep my head up high making myself believe that I am still wealthy and I can have anything in the world. I get paranoid all the time that people are just ganging up against me and I even make myself sick thinking of what people will do to me and sometimes I do realize it might all be in my head. Every day I have to convince myself that everything is in my head. But how do I tell someone? How do I tell my family members that I think I may have a mental disorder? How can I live if I finally face reality?
MadameFuture MadameFuture
18-21, F
3 Responses Jul 21, 2010

im like that too lol. im in my dark dreamland thinking im some royalty too and peopel should look at how good i look <br />
well, idk why i cant help but feel happy when they do,.<br />
im trying to get out of this lame disorder though.

Delusion 1 Reality 0 Good luck when it shatters - sounds like it's gonna be a handful.

believe in urself make ur dream a reality u know u can! just 1 step at a time, u go girl!