What Happens

what goes through a narcissists mind when they are fleeing? Recently my husband, who is a narcissist, drained all our money and left me. He got his friends to come over and pack and move him while I was at the doctor. He has filed for divorce, my head is still spinning!! What goes through a cerebral narcissist's mind before and after leaving?
wonderingkitten wonderingkitten
31-35, F
8 Responses Aug 25, 2010

You might not believe this but you will be happier once he is completely out of your life. If he really loved you than he will eventually come to charm his way back into your life, but by that time hopefully you will have broken the chains that bind you. When he does come back that would be the opportunity to tell him that he has all the signs of being a narcissist and tell him to look it up. Let him know that because of his narcissism, you cannot go back with him, that you need to concentrate on moving on with your life. It is hard to let go of someone you love, even if they are a narcissist, but you should not have to go through life with a black mass in your stomach constantly and that is what if feels like. Those who really love the narcissistic person are able to see underneath the mask, and able to understand why they are as they are, and love the "real" them, but it will still tear us apart if they continue to deny they have a problem. If they do not take responsibility for their actions, than your life will be full of hurt, anger and frustration.

I am a Narcissist. When we flee it is usually because you said something which either directly or indirectly could be perceived as a personal attack. Narcissists either lash our with rage; if you are married to one I am sure you are aware, during which they will tear apart every aspect of your life and bring you down to the lowest possible point beneath them. It makes us feel better I apologize. Or, of course, we flee. Running is usually not because we want to hide but because we feel as though you were wrong and our absense will be punishment enough. We know you care about us and we know that when we disappear just like that you will be devastated and come running to get us back. My advice; either beg and grovel which after awhile will work OR take the risky approach and act as though you are completely fine on your own, in fact act as though it is good for you and you are moving on. We wont have that, we like the control and if your husband feels as though he is losing that I garuntee you will have him running back into your arms ready to start the manipulation process all over again. The aforementioned is how to get him back, but you may want to consider simply trying to move on.<br />
Hope that helps!

What kind of idiot would talk like that to a person that unknowingly taken? She choose to be with him in the first place bc she didnt know who he truly was. Look in the mirror. are you him? Cuz you sound just as bad!

You chose to be with him in the first place, and chose to stay with him. Therefore you should take the consequences of your actions like a dignified human being. Stop whining.

I agree with de,now that hes gone,you can start to enjoy what life has to offer.

De-<br />
Try nine years with that selfish child...! Yes, I am a bit tired taking care of a big baby.

Narcissists: —Synonyms<br />
1. self-centeredness, smugness, egocentrism. This might help. You are smart to get away from this jerk. From what I've read from you, it has been a long couple of years. <br />
<br />
Screw the kitten I'm all grown up now, hello the wonder ***** cat has arrived and the narcissist is gone. It's time to take care of the wondering ***** cat. And your hot friend story proves it. Go Girl.

In his mind it may have been a bad relationship. But his behavior kept getting more and more childish. He couldn't stand that I was standing up for myself and not letting him take advantage.