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Hurting My Pride--a Good Thing!

I think I am here because I want to stop trying to keep the image of perfection that I've treasured for so long. I have held dearly the idea of how "special" and omnipotent I am. But all of the evidence shows just how human, how vulnerable, and how much I need other people that reality truly is.

Everyone simply needs a Savior, Jesus. I've told myself over and over that if I just had the job, the body, the attractive relationship, the knowledge, then I would be just fine and I wouldn't need anything from anyone.

Jesus said it. Anyone who tries to save their life (control and maintain the treasured view of their self) will lose it. But anyone who loses their life (embraces vulnerability, gives to those in need, shows kindness and compassion and a willingness to give away) for my sake will find it. Maybe it's just sin and the great grasping for control that's holding us all back. If we took risks, took chances, even if we might fall and lose or break our pride, then maybe we would find it's better to be a nobody who gave than a somebody who stored up for himself.

I hate this narcissism in myself. I hate it with all my passion. I will overcome it. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

In love,
rallison85 rallison85 22-25 1 Response Jul 9, 2011

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the best thing somebody can do is loving your heart by breaking your ego. i hope that you will find somebody that will do that. you need to look for somebody that is worse then you are and let them destroy you. until there is nothing left of you.and when you are starting to feel sorry for yourself and can not take it anymore. and you want to hurt that person badly then you stop!!!! you go away and lick your wounds without feeling sorry for yourself, because you wanted to heal. and then when you are finished licking yourself. you will get your freedom and learn to say no and having boundries without taking to much or give to little. you can be huble and have peace of mind.

if somebody wants to screw me over now or hurt me even when i set my boundries. i let them because in the end they are screwing there selfs when they found out that i really am truelly loving them. i am no longer fake. and i see people for what they are now. because i finally see myself.. and so i can no longer be mad at them for trying to screw me over. and the funny part is that they learn to love themself more. because if you hurt somebody else you are really hurting yourself in the end. so they start to love themselfs more when they have been forgiven by me. because nobody want to hurt someone that really love them for how they are.