This Feeling

So my boyfriend of almost a year is at bootcamp right now. Luckily he is coming home for Christmas, then he goes back to bootcamp then straight to AIT until March. I just talked to one of his friends and he said that he is most probably going to get deployed. I don't know how I feel about that. I feel so bad because I want to be with him and I am his only support he has so I can't leave him. But I can't keep living like this where I can't talk to him and if he is deployed I don't know if he is safe or not. This is not the kind of relationship I am looking for, but I don't want to loose him. I am going to wait until the moment comes that he is deployed...but I feel so guilty feeling this way. Any one have any advice?
LUlove94 LUlove94
3 Responses Dec 8, 2012

whoops just looked at profile my boyfriend is at Fort Sill right now too

I feel exactly the same my boyfriend is at boot camp right now also, and he told me that one of the men he became friends with is going to be deployed just 22 days after being done with AIT :-( he then went to go on saying that in his 5.5 years he will be deployed 2-3 times for 9 months at a time and I didnt know what to say I havent prepared for the day he happens to get deployed yet, but it sucks sitting around wondering like if it will happen and if so when? Just like you I am my boyfriends main support, he doesnt have many friends and he isnt very close with his family... If he is the one for you stick it out, if your making through basic with him then being deployed wont be easier but you knwo you can do it since you made it through when he was at basic... I dont know like your relationship, but i know for me Adam going to basic has made our relationship stronger... i guess all i can say is if in yor mind he is the one then stay with him and maybe just talk to him about it and let him know your feelings and maybe he kind of reassure you or something?... idk if this helped you at all... i hope it did... btw where is your boyfriend at basic right now?

Hey I'm worried about those similar things too with my boyfriend in national guard ... Hes gonna be home for christmas too and ships to ait after the holidays im mostly worried how well im gonna do in school cause while he was in basic i dropped my semester classes and went into a major depression but im trying to change my pessimistic thinking so i can help myself while hes gone and then help each other while were together some people say being away from ur love of ur life for a long period of time makes the love stronger when ur together ;) I made up my mind when I started dating him to date him back in april and both of us made a promise we would never leave one another and I'm sticking to my word for as long as he wants me I not saying deployment will be easy for him and it won't be easy for me ether because the separation is gonna be really hard on both of us I heard that deployments usually 15 months but sometimes there are 3 month rotations depending on the company's location or something I'm new to this army stuff too but my advice to you is if u really do love him don't think of leaving him that's the worst thing u can do during this time in his life be there for him as much as possible what keeps me going is the fact my boyfriends motivation comes from his love for me he says when he does his company runs he thinks of me at the end of every road and that is how I think of him at the end of my road I know my boyfriend is always with me spiritually that's why I wear his cross necklace every day of my life ... the little things in life count and u don't know how much u love ur boyfriend until hes gone away for the army and I have had my fair share of nights crying for my boyfriend but it will get better u gotta have that little spark of Tomorrows hope with u at all times keep ur head held up high and he will be in ur arms in no time I pray for success in ur relationship...

-rebekah :)

When I got into my relationship, I knew that deployment was happening in March of 2013, I took the "not think about it" approach, and from my point of view that was the worst thing I could have done. The past month has been a nightmare of realization that this IS happening. When he is home, talk about it. It takes a special kind of person to be with one of these boys, and no one can blame you if this isn't something for you.