Cant Breath

I was sitting in ma room with ma friend and her fiance is in the army,, well we both started talkin bout our future husbands n i pulled out a box just to go through it. Well as i was goin through it i found a letter ma fiance wrote me... a 4 page letter talkin about how much he loves me and wants to marry me n wants to start a family I started crying ma friend was there holdn me tryn to make me laugh and feel better. Later on that day after i droped her home i just couldnt stop crying. All that I could do is mumble the words come home baby... All I want is ma baby to come home. My heart hurtz thinkin how far away he is from me. I try not to n think well im gonna see him soon but it dont work.... I dont no what to do any more.... And even as i type now i cant breath im cryn so hard. e is ma everything this is not fair.... and this is soooo hard and on top of all this i missed a phone call from him.. and he at a place where he cant b maken calls  it aint cell phone friendly... so now i dont no what to do i miss him i want him back its heard to breath with out him.... i no some1 knows how i feel ... what did you do ... plz help me

nuniie nuniie
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 10, 2009

I did a lot of crying too at first (even now I cry often). Im not sure if hes out of basic yet or in school. But if he isnt then what i found helped the most is I found something to preocupy me. I took on another group at my work ( I teach ice skating classes) and took another class at my local college even though i wasnt going to at first. My mom told me that just because he's gone for a little while it didnt mean that I had to stop and lay down my life to wait for him. In a little bit he would be done with basic and I could go see him graduate and then be able to talk to him every day. Something that neither of us seemed to realized going into this was that our relationship was going to become long distant. It was a scary thought for me at first but finding other things to do through out the day really did help me not become a blob of emotions. I knew he wouldnt want me to just sit and mope around my house then I also always had something interesting to write him about that night. And getting his letters back was always a plus to my week. I hope I helped.