To All The Girls Whose Men Are In Boot

I want to show you why you can get through this. Why it is worth it. Just based on the reassurance to all the insecurities I had, which Mathew was able to tell me once he was in A School and had some time to loosen up and start really talking.


I know you're hurting right now. Three months ago I was in the same place. It hurts so much to be on one side and not know what's going on on the other.

You send letter after letter and some days feel like you're talking to dead air

[Mathew now tells me that those letters got him through every day, that it was the only thing that reminded him that there was a kind voice somewhere in the world for him]

You send pictures, but feel silly for doing so

[Mathew says those pictures kept him alive, that he'd tuck them under his pillow, in his pocket, in his books, to look at every day]

You spray your perfume on the letter, then fear that your man will get teased or think it's cheesy

[He says the first time he smelled it, he couldn't stop and passed it around for his buddies to smell]

You worry...what if he doesn't even care for me anymore

[He says he daydreamed about me, heard my voice in his head, saw my smile, and it was his only joy]


I am not bragging or showing off, because I am not the only case like this. This is pretty close to normal with everyone, am I right, girls of A School Sailors?

I tell you these things to comfort and reassure you. You will have doubts. That is normal. It will hurt. That can't be helped. But just keep reminding matter how much you doubt, he DOES love you, and probably more now than he ever has before. He can't wait to see you and year your voice again. He probably hasn't gotten a hug since the last one you gave him, and he can't wait to get one from you again. HE LOVES YOU, and he misses you more than you miss him, if you can imagine that to be possible!

Stay strong. Stick through. Because when you make it through and finally see him'll have never known a greater joy in your life, and the former heartache won't even matter anymore.


You can do this, because this is a battle worth fighting.

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41 Responses May 5, 2010

this helped tremendously

This is so true. My sailor went through boot camp, A school, nuke school, and is off stationed and soon to be deployed. It's really tough on them, but, even though they sometimes can't reciprocate all the love and support we show them, they really need and appreciate what we provide. Keep strong, ladies... we can all do this.

Wow I needed this! Love it

Thank you so much. This was very helpful as this is something I've been dealing with for the last 3weeks. I'm still very much in love with my sailor and I can not wait to hear from him.

This got me all choked up =] Thank you for posting this all those years ago. I copied it and emailed it to myself.

I couldn't read this without crying, there is only 11 days till Tylor graduates from bootcamp. So many things have passed through my mind. It's been so hard without him. We have been together for 4 1/2 years and this is the longest time we have ever been apart. I'm so scared of what happens when bootcamp will end, when he is in A school and begins to keep other company. The insecurities are getting the best of me, the missing him is hurting so bad, the nerves, the heartache. I'm so scared. I'm scared of what could happen. I believe he loves me and he wouldn't hurt me, I promised to stay, he promised to work hard and be everything he can be, he promised to come home to me; its just so hard. This emotions are so mixed, all through bootcamp, the 3 calls and nothing but letters have left me with so many questions, and makes missing him even stronger. I have kept so many emotions in, it feels good to read and see the support all of you have, is like a family so I thank you.

Thank you so much for this. My man is leaving in 2 months for basic and I'm already a mess. He keeps telling me that I'm the only thing in his life that matters and that no matter what he will always come back.

This was a great post! Thank you! Right now, my boyfriend is in basic, but I feel almost the same that you mention that you feel now. We have less than 3 weeks until his graduation and his letters thanked me for the perfume and pictures and he said everything that yours did about passing it around and how it gets him through. I have been so scared and upset the past couple of weeks but on Saturday I got a phone call that completely put me at ease (or at least semi at ease) with pretty much everything and made me so stinking proud of him!

Thank you so much for posting this! My boyfriend is going to boot camp in less than 2 weeks . Excited and terrified but I know that he is worth it all the way to the end.

This is great! I really needed it. My boyfriend is getting ready to end his first week in boot camp and I miss him like crazy!

Wow this really touched me i made me cry thanks for posting this !

My Sailor just graduated bootcamp Friday and arrived in Texas today. I was able to talk to him Wednesday on the phone for 30 min. Sunday he messaged me on fb and idk he seemed different. He hadnt seen a girl for pretty much two months when he was in bootcamp and idk what is going to happen when he has more freedom in A school. Any advice?

Thank you so much for this. I've been with Brian for just under three years (he'll actually be in boot for our 3 year anniversary) and we've spent almost every single day together since we met. So now that he's been gone a little more than a month, it's so difficult for me. The first three weeks were awful, but after that I received 5 letters all at once, and it felt like a could breathe again. I got a phone call at work, the first time I'd heard his voice in a month, and I cried, and I felt so Stupid! I just cried lol. But I love him so much. And I think your input is so accurate. So thank you.

This is absolutely right. Trust is essential in every relationship.

This is so inspiring! Bootcamp is hard but it's nice to see that there are girls out there going through the exact same thing and know your it alone! :)

So, it's normal to have doubts before he leaves?

i wish i would have saw this during those times of my bf being at bootcamp. and guess what. i can assure you that you are absolutely right about EVRYTHING ! my bf told me the same things. he is now in Aschool. and i still have trouble with my insecurities. but i know being in the navy he will be opened up to whole news friends as well as a whole new world. fact he now wants to marry me cus ive been the only one who kept their patience with him. love this story

This made me feel so much better. My boyfriend left 4 days ago for boot camp and I miss him so much. Thank you for reassuring me, honestly, it's just what I needed! (:

Thank you so much! I feel so much better now :-)

I cried. Well. i really miss him and I cant wait for his first letter! I just got his package yesterday..

wow this really made my day! I am kinda nervous about my boyfriend John leaving for boot. He leaves 24 April...and as scared as I was that he would change his feelings for me or something, which he told me that his feelings will just get stronger. But after reading this I feel even more reassured! I will get through it!

Thank you so much! My boyfriend just left for Boot Camp today and I miss him so much already! I think of everyone at the MEPS center I cried the most. This is exactly what I needed.

Thank you so much! My boyfriend just left for Boot Camp today and I miss him so much already! I think of everyone at the MEPS center I cried the most. This is exactly what I needed.

Omg I so needed this! I bursted into tears after reading the first paragraph! This really gave me a confidence boost! I love my sailor so much I can't even right it enough! Everytime I feel down I'm going to refer back to this!! This is y i joined this group- for empowerment! Other women just don't understand

God thank you for writing this. I worry endlessly about things like this. But this post has made me feel so much better. I know that he loves me and he will write back to me i just have to be paitent and wait for the first letter. :) thank you again

I know this post was such a long time ago.. but I just found out today that my boy is leaving for boot in December and I am so afraid of getting those horrible feelings.. Posts like this one make me happy(:

Lol this totally made me tear up!! Gosh im not sure what im going to do without talking to tylor alll day! Is it true that they read the letters we send them out loud at bootcamp?

Thank you, thank you. This is the most wonderful thing I have heard; you are an inspiration to me and a savior. Tyler has just left for boot 15 days ago, I know it’s not too long but it feels like forever. I’m glad the letters help, I’m glad the pictures are cherished and I’m glad that I smell like home. I love my sailor with all my heart but I’m scared to death that the navy will change him. Change him so much that he can’t love me anymore<br />
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So thank you for the kind words

This seriously brought tears to my eyes because i know its all true(: <br />
I miss him like crazy and this shows me I ain't the only one.

Thank you so much for posting this. I know my boyfriend and I will survive this and will be stronger because of it. You are an amazing woman and thank you so much for your encouragement :)

this is exactly what i needed to read right now. thakyou so much.

my boyfriend hasn't left for bootcamp yet but i'm already starting to worry about him leaving. this really help with everything that's been going through my mind lately! thank you!

My boyfriend is on deployment (8 months to go!) and your post made me feel a whole heck of a lot better. I had to read it twice. EVERY single insecurity that you listed, I have been feeling lately. Feeling foolish for sending him e-mails several times a day even when he can't respond for weeks at a time, wondering if he would be made fun of if I send him a letter with my perfume lol. Thank you truly.

My boyfriend hasn't left for bootcamp yet and I know it will be rough, but this post is very heart warming:)

I feel so confident about him leaving now. We are leaving for VA in August for the fleet :( thanks for this it made my day

I feel so confident about him leaving now. We are leaving for VA in August for the fleet :( thanks for this it made my day

thank you so much for posting this. You are a great person for trying to help others through. I was so down before i read this and now all of my fears seem to have gone out the window. I really feel like I can do this now. Thank you so much keep it up you are really helping us sad, ans scared girls. Thank you from bonnie <3

thank you! your post summed up pretty much everything that i'm feeling..

Seems like you seem to post something helpful every time i get down. Thank you so much your such a blessing :)

This is exactly why I joined this group, thank you so much for this post, may God bless you and your sailor!

ahhhh! this post makes me feel GREAT. i got my first letters from him today...i got like 8!! :) i was soo happy to hear from him. hes in bootcamp and everything they go thru is INTENSE! we love eachother sooo much!!! and im just so happy!! thanks for ur post!! its very helpful =]