To Someone Who Will Take The Time To Listen And Understand

Just to warn you, this might end up being a tad long.

Ron and I started out as just friend, but eventually grew into something more. The actual story is really long, so I won't bore you with the details. When we first started dating, I figured we'd break up soon because I was the type of girl who dated guys for a little while, got bored, and broke up, but still remained friends. I thought that would happen here too, but it didn't. I knew he had already signed up for the Navy when we got together, but didn't think anything about it at first. As time went by and our feelings grew stronger, this started to get to me. I already have a big Naval background since my dad was in the Navy for twenty years, finally retiring as a Chief Petty Officer, so I knew what I was getting into. I know about the deployments, the short phone calls, the few letters, etc.etc, but I knew that if my parents could get through it, then so could I.

Ron and I have been dating for a little over a year now, and nothing compares to our feelings for each other. This past Friday, the 23rd, he proposed, I said yes, and I assure you, I couldn't be happier. We told my parents, and they're fine with it despite our age (I'm 17 and he's 18). All they ask is I finish High School (I'm entering my final year) and whatever form of post-secondary I choose to persue (wihich happens to be Massage Therapy, a program finished in ten months to a year) before we get married, which I totally agree with and planned on doing in the first place. Ron's also fine with this, and we already have the date set for July 3 of either 2013 or 2014. My parents taught me to trust my feelings, and showed me what true love is. I've never seen a better couple than my parents: loving, trusting, understanding, supportive, everything a couple should be, everything they've taught me to be. Because of them, I know this is right for me.

Now, Ron leaves this coming Wednesday, the 28th, for basic up at the Great Lakes. I'm sad to see him go and am going to miss him more than anything, but I know we're strong enough to get through this. I've soaked up every second we've had together, which has been quite a bit since he lives with me. (He moved in with me two months ago because of his controlling mother who...isn't too fond of me, to say the least.)

The problem here is that no one understands. We live in a very small town of Missouri where no one is open minded. Everyone has told me we're not going to work because we're so young, he's going to cheat on me, I won't be able to handle it, etc.ect. If it were just other teenagers saying this, it wouldn't be too bad, but we've also heard it from his family members (who also dislike me because of the lies his mom has woven about me), teachers, and other adult figures in our lives. It's very discouraging. I also know that when people find out about our engagement, the criticism will get amped up ten-fold. This is heart-wrenching because we both think this is something that should be celebrated, not degraded. I know I don't have to sit and justify my reasoning to anyone because I'm strong in my choices and feelings, but I just want someone to understand and help me out. Sadly, I don't think I'll be getting that.

So, ladies, help me out, will you?
How can I get someone to be there for me or get them to understand what I'm going through? How do I get my friends to believe this is something that will last?
Also, how did you and your man make it through bootcamp? What kinds of things did you do to keep yourselves busy? How did you do it?

Thanks so much for anything you can give me.
I'm sorry this was so long. xD
JMQRMM JMQRMM
18-21, F
3 Responses Jul 25, 2010

wow your story sounds a lot like mine! my bf and i diddnt want a relationship when we first met, just the no strings atached thing. but we couldent stay away from eachother, we dont have a marrage date set yet. my best advice because everyone i knew never took me seriously, is wate it out. time will shut them up. good luck! and if you need to chat let me know, i seriously thought for a min there i was reading my own story. lol

If you take a look at everyone who is being negative it's usually the people who are not in a good relationship themselves. Try and circle yourselve with positive people and thoughts. It's hard for others to know what were really going threw. Just don't start buying into others negativity remember that they are not happy themselves and things will always work out how they should. It worked for your parents. <br />
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Start making jewlry it takes a lot of time but can make u happy when you finish your project <br />
Good luck

Welcome, girl! Don't let anyone discourage you. If you're heart is in it then that's all that matters, right? You can't make anyone understand, really, but there is so much support on this site. It's super helpful. My boyfriend left June 27th and I'll tell ya it sucks but you can get through it. I was so scared and didn't know what to expect but you have some background knowledge so maybe it will be easier on you. I've gotten letters every week since the second week. One got lost in the mail and I got it on a Saturday so that may happen. I'm on the computer a lot to keep busy. I'm in band at my high school so that also keeps me very occupied. Call up your friends. Even if they don't understand what you are going through you can still have fun with them!!<br />
Never doubt yourself. You can do this!! <br />
Sorry this was so long, lol :))