First Deployment

My boyfriend just left for his first deployment, and I wonder, how do you get through this? He's been in the navy almost a year but he's always been in training so he's never been further than a phone call away, at least since he finished boot camp. I don't know what to do. any help/advice/similiar stories?
impained impained
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 5, 2010

thank you so much. that actually helped a lot.

I can tell you right now my boyfriend is 1,083 miles away. He is stationed on a ship, and before I heard from him every day (while the ship was still being prepared it is a new ship). And now that he is on the ship I hardly hear from him. And yes I will admit sometimes it's hard.<br />
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I started a blog (http://tows-girl.blogspot.com/) and I try to write in it every day. I am keeping it for him to track what I'm doing and what's going on. So when he gets the time he can read. So when he calls it's all bout him and what he's doing. <br />
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I text him everyday, even when he can't respond. Because he still can read them. And he can respond later. And I sent him pictures via text. Stupid pictures. We started having a competition over food, I win hands down but still. One day he got so mad he went to a steak house lol (I am a really good cook). <br />
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Save everything. I don't care how small you think it is, SAVE IT. In the darkest of moments I hide in a closet (it's my spot) and I go through everything with a flashlight. I listen to every voicemail over again, go through every picture I have of him, of us. I go through every email (I haven't gotten a hand written letter yet, he's been too busy). <br />
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Find friends to support you. And get rid of the ones that don't. This is going to be hard. And you don't need someone shoving it in your face that you don't have your man, nor how hard it will be. You already know. Your guy no longer belongs to you, he belongs to the USN. <br />
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Get Skype. This has been wonderful for me. I am still recovering from Skyping him every morning between 4-6am and we would talk as he got dressed for work (blue camo is sexy I tell you). And at night we would Skype has he took off his boots and got into civi clothes. This was up until he moved on the ship.<br />
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Find something to blame. I blame Canada (sorry it became a thing. He's in Maine and has poor cellphone reception. And Canada is right there). Just when something goes wrong, which I now often do, I shout out something at Canada (mostly 'stupid Canada'). And then when something goes write I apologize to Canada. We both now blame Canada, and it's become a joke... something that can be laughed about. All of my friends now know this, and they jump in too. Something bad happens to them and they say 'stupid Canada.' Because they know I need to cope and they are great friends.<br />
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Yesterday I ran around college trying to get a few things sorted. I ran into a faculty member and she said I looked so good (and I was going off very little sleep). I said thanks, other than the tan and new boyfriend nothing had changed. What ended up coming out of my mouth kinda shocked me but I laughed. I said he was in the Navy (you tend you get a long pause after you mention this) and then what followed out of my mouth from this short pause ended up being "well at least he's not in jail." Faculty member being good sport said "true." <br />
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And something you will hear from me often.... "In the end it will be worth it." <br />
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I hold on to that, and the little things... because the little things really do count.