Sometimes When It Rains, It Pours...

So I'm not sure if many of you know this, but if you have bad credit and you marry your sailor, they can take away his security clearance.

I found this out because my darling boyfriend and I have been talking about becoming "serious." And it came up in a talk because he wants to make the Navy is career. And I have really bad credit from my ex-husband. And we went through the "talk" and I found out.

I've been texting my best friend and now I come here. Because of course she is like 'you're strong' and I know that I am. And perhaps I am thinking about this too hard like she says. And she's going on about how Kevin and I will get through this.

But she doesn't look at it the way I do.

I can deal with the whole military relationship. The being far apart thing isn't a worry to me. We are both loyal and I'm so open and honest to a point it hurts (which he loves). But I've done the math.

I have kids. I can't move until my youngest is 18, which that is 13 more years. Sorry I don't want to fight his dad about moving out of state. (Kevin is not his dad) Kevin has 3 more years left, and if he reenlists that's 7. Let's face it if he makes an officer he's going to reenlist again. That's 11 years. And once you've reached that point you'd do it again... see where I'm getting.

We love each other and want to be with each other. I mean we both started this relationship when he was in the Navy. (I missed boot camp and the A school drama I was just a friend then) We've known each other for so long... we just both knew this was right.

I'm doing the math and that is one hell of a long LDR >_<

AND he wants to have kids. Which I had cervical cancer and can't have kids. My best friend said she'd carry our baby!!! That meant so much to me. And he wants to adopt!!! That meant so much. But I would probably be a grandma by the time we can adopt or have a baby lol.

I know this is something I can do. And I know that I'm just having a bad time right now. Been a bad week, he even said so when he called. And boy has he called today to make up for all week not being able to call.

I just don't know what to do. And I know in 3 years he might change his mind and get out. But he loves it so much. And I can't ask him to give that up, that isn't right of me. And I sooo just wanna break down and cry.
yourangelawaits yourangelawaits
31-35, F
5 Responses Aug 7, 2010

If you have any negative credit it affects their security clearance. I do not know if each branch is different. I do have a friend that works at Annapolis though, but I would assume each branch is the same but I don't know.

Do you know if they do the whole credit thing if after they graduate from the Naval acadmey they go marine?<br />
how bad does the credit have to be that they take away his clearance?<br />
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cheer up girl <3

Thanks kmkv94. I am in Indiana. So not far. <br />
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I have written him, emailed him, text him, voicemail... all when I can't sleep. He wakes up in the morning and is like "wow babe couldn't sleep." <br />
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The times it's been really bad are when he got sprayed with OC, and the night he moved on the ship. <br />
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I'm a wreck cause he hasn't gotten any of my letters, and I timed them perfectly that one important one was to come on Friday and it hadn't. :-( He think they are being processed and then coming to him. <br />
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I have yet to receive a letter (which I have verbally complained about lol). He's been busy and I know it and I get emails, but it's not the same as something you can hold.<br />
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But yes we are in the same situation. I won't use boat cause I get motion sickness lol

I just wanted to comment on that last part of yours with the not sleeping! I am awake. It's 4 am in Wisconsin where I am. (I'm not sure where you are) My Boyfriend left for basic 12 days ago. Its hard becuase he is gone and I'm back here will all our friends but I don't need to explain that to you. My point is I have barely slept since he left. What I found that helps me to calm down and relax and not cry myself to sleep every night is I write something to him every night before I fall asleep. Its been as short as a half a page and as long as four pages but it really helps calm me down and think of him positively and helps remind me just how much he loves me and that he will call when he can. I haven't even gotten my first letter yet. I am expecting it any day because I got a post card a week ago saying I would know his graduation day from basic and address in a week. Its been 8 days but I guess that's the army. I just know that he loves me and can't wait to see me. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk or vent to. Even though I'm a National Guard girl friend and you are Navy we are all on the same boat here (Not trying to be a pun) (:

Thanks Jelika.... I've been crying most of the day. Which he was supposed to call me and didn't. So I'm thinking he drank too much and went back to the ship cause I know he had to be back by 10pm. I won't find out until tomorrow if he's okay.<br />
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This is just hard for me because I found my Mr. Right. After all my years looking I finally found him. <br />
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The fact I have to share him with the Navy isn't a big deal. It's the fact over something that isn't my fault I can't live happily ever after because of the Navy. <br />
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I am still up... probably won't sleep.