4 Days Till Boot Camp And Living With Regrets

 So my boyfriend leaves for boot camp in 4 days and the anticipation of him leaving is getting harder and harder to deal with. I feel embarrassed to be so emotional now because he’s not even gone yet. The worst part is that I expected to spend so much time with him before he left and that feeling was mutual but he’s had to divide so much of his time with me, his family, and his friends and I feel like I’m the one that ended up getting the short end of the stick. There was so many things that I wanted to do with him but time is running out so I have to hold off on them and save it for another time. I feel a little selfish but it’s hard not to be when you know you’re not going to see the person you love for a while. I regret not taking full advantage of the time we did share. I had all these expectations and I would be so consumed with them that I couldn’t enjoy the here and now with him, which is totally not in my character at all. All this summer I’ve been preparing for that day when he leave but with it being 4 days away I don’t feel  prepared at all. Nothing really can prepare you for that day. This has been the hardest summer by far that I’ve ever experienced and he’s not even gone yet. Hopefully we’ll be able to spend some quality time together before time runs out Lord knows that I would take full advantage of whatever time. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. My advice to any girlfriend waiting for their boyfriends to leave for boot camp would be to live in the now, take advantage of the time you have left with him whether it be an hour your sharing or a whole day; and not to go into the situation expecting it to be a certain way because life has a funny way of doing it own thing and the expectations may disappoint you in the end. I hope my experiences helps someone. 
stronger1 stronger1
22-25, F
5 Responses Aug 12, 2010

Ladies thank you so much for your comments and advice. I'm so glad to have found this site. I'm sure I'll probably need someone to talk to soon so i'll stay in contact. =)

I know how you feel too. Ron left for bootcamp two weeks ago yesterday and it's been rough.<br />
After he left, I regretted taking our time together for granted. We've been together for 13 months, three of which he lived with me, and it went by soooo fast.<br />
I agree with a few of the girls above me; It was harder before he left than after. After he was gone, the first two days Ron was gone were the worst for me, so they might be for you too. It definitely sucks not getting to hear from them. (I'm not expecting a letter for another week, and with my luck, I'll have work right after school that day. lol)<br />
I knew what I was getting into though because my dad was in the Navy for twenty years, so I know what's going on in bootcamp pretty well. If you have any questions about when you should get this or that, or a call, or stuff about graduation that you're not clear on, let me know. I'll try to help out.<br />
In the meantime and while he's gone, stay strong, sweetheart. Write everyday; It'll help both of you. What he's about to do is rough too; Ron called me freaking out a few days after he left. He'll know how you feel and he'll be missing you as much as you'll be miss him. Do not forget that! After Ron left, everything got kind of hazy, almost dream-like. It was as if he never existed. I still feel like that, but I'm sure it'll go away when I get a letter from him. It's a weird feeling, so don't freak out.<br />
If you need someone to talk with, I'm here. =]

I know how you feel. I was the same way before my boyfiend left, it seemed like I was always in tears and he wasn't even gone yet. but the time goes by faster then it seems. best of luck to you guys.

I've rarely cried around Kyle, even before he left. I know that when I get sad, he feels bad, but the week before he left we cried together almost everyday. Of course, he would have a single manly tear that rolled down his cheek. :) But honestly theres nothing to be embarrassed about. It just shows you care.

I will honestly say that I was more emotional before he left than after he was gone :P It sucks to have to experience this but someone's got to do it. It's not as hard as you think. My problem before boot camp was really just the fear of the unknown. It's new and you don't know what exactly to expect. The first couple of weeks suck because you have no contact but once letters start coming regularly everying will work itself out :) If you have any questions just message me!