Reflecting And Rambling

When I found out that William was joining the Navy I was discouraged about how our relationship would end up. I was, and still am, so invested in him. I wasn’t thinking of breaking up or anything like that. I just felt that we would turn out as a shadow of what we were. The idea going months apart just disappointed me. I kept thinking to myself: “How are we connecting with one another if I can only talk to him once a week or even less than that?” I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with him, and his personal growth. When I really think about it, I realize that everyone has to deal with that uncertainty. Regardless of how often you see each other you’re both changing faster than realized. Distance is irrelevant when you put it into that perspective… Even though I don’t get to talk to him every day, there’s a comfort in knowing that I’m on his mind. As long as I am somewhere in his thoughts in the day, I feel like we’re together in that sense.

Today I gushed about him to all my residents (I work in an assisted living facility). I made a photo album of PIR weekend and showed it to everyone who cared to see. I took over 200 pictures this past weekend… When I finally got to talk to Will on the phone, I found out that he gushed about me too. He told all half of his classmates about me. I just think that’s adorable. I feel so close to him, so connected to him, even though he’s over a thousand miles away. I am just so thankful for the invention of telephones and the postal service. It made the distance so insignificant. (I’m more thankful for telephones than the postal service though, I did NOT like getting his letters a week after he wrote them.)

I feel like our relationship has intensified from him being gone. I am deeper in love with my boyfriend now that he’s so far away. They do say “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Everything is intensified. Has anyone else noticed this? Sometimes it can be a negative thing, like being so nervous to see him that your stomach turns and you can’t sleep at night. Other times, it can be absolutely wonderful like that first hug or kiss after months of being apart. I feel lucky to be able to experience this kind of love. I think that being a long distance couple is less mundane in the sense that you’re always looking forward to something, whether it’s a phone call or a weekend together. Of course, I looked forward to these things before he left, but now it’s so much more special because of the rarity. I hang on his every word. I literally could not take my eyes off him when I saw him this past weekend. I know that I wasn’t like that before. We are in that giddy infatuation stage of our relationship all over again.