Advice Or Suggestions Please!

My boyfriend is at C school right now in New Jersey with a few other guys and girls from his base. Almost every single night, my boyfriend has been the designated driver for them. I'm lucky if we can skype for 45 minutes when back in WA we would skype as soon as he got off work until bedtime. I don't want to make it sound like I'm keeping him from having fun or all to myself, but there has to be a line. I feel like I'm being pushed aside and he's yelling at me every night for not being happy. I don't know what to do! Please help because I'm an emotional wreck right now....
FourMoreYears FourMoreYears
18-21, F
6 Responses Jul 15, 2011

C school is not like A school. He doesn't have duty and he doesn't have to clean since they're staying at hotels. He goes to class from 8 until 2 with a large break in the middle for lunch/PT. It's not like he doesn't have enough time for me, he just doesn't wanna look like an ******* in front of the other guys. I understand that and don't want him to look like an *** either, but I shouldn't be shoved to the side just like that. There needs to be a balance.

I understand where you are coming from. I couldn't understand why my sailor wasn't as available as I thought he would be for A school. And I also didn't understand why he didn't spend every moment that he had trying to talk to me. I explained that to him and he finally broke his day down for me. Although he is in class for a certain amount of hours he has watch and duty. Plus inspections. Since they get up crazy early they go to sleep early too. And on weekends when they do get to relax they hang out with their new friends. They try to make time for you but you have to remember they are coming from boot camp when they could hardly talk to you. It takes some time getting adjusted to real life again. But trust it gets better. And communication is key. When he is ready to argue tell him I want to enjoy our time together lets not argue. It will shock him but he will appreciate it! Good luck!

Honestly, he's only in class a few hours in the morning. After that he can do whatever he wants. Last week was constantly going out with the guys from his ba<x>se....from right after class to sometimes midnight or later. This week, he's been more mindful of me, which I appreciate. There's a difference between relaxing on the weekends and relaxing during the week: means there's nothing important going on.

Just so you know... My boyfriend and I tend to fight most on the weekends... I dont know what school your boyfriend is in but my boyfriends school is rediculously intense... And he sees his weekends as his fun relax time and I need to just respect that... I dont know about you but when we go out we still text but he tends to lagggg alottt... But its the only time he really gets to relax about school... I know it sucks and there are feeings of being unimportant but trust that hes not doing anything stupid and that he needs this time to keep from going insain from how crazy school is... I hope this helps... just know Ive been there... And it sucks when you think like ohh yayy the weekend he doesnt have class so we can talk more and then you end up talking less... believe me I know...

Thank you. I'm trying so hard to just let it go, and today I was. But he could tell that I was a bit upset and he sort of provoked me into getting really upset. Thus, we started fighting. I almost feel as though we should take a break for a bit so I can adjust to the whole not talking deal...but he's developed a worse temper than I have since being in the navy. I don't think it would blow over well

I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. I can imagine what that feels like. My boyfriend is just starting his A-school. There's some days where I only get 10minutes of talk time with him, and that's just on the phone. He doesn't have a laptop yet. It's frustrating, because sometimes he lets his phone go dead, and I have no way of contacting him. I think the best thing to do, would be to talk it out with him. Let him know that you miss talking to him, and ask if he could compromise a little. I don't think that you're hogging him away in any way whatsoever. It's okay if he's going out every once in a while. But if he's going out almost every single night, then he's not understanding where you're coming from.<br />
<br />
Try to stay strong. It can be so much worse. Don't take any communication time for granted. :(