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Fighting All Night, Crying All Day.. Is This Worth It?

I just moved to Bremerton WA from Northern California to be with my boyfriend. We both knew it wasn't going to be easy but I guess I never pictured we'd be having problems about someone from his past..

Before he was stationed here, he was in New York. He was dating his ex for two years and I understand that they have history. So when he was home for leave back in september he showed me a picture on his phone of me to tease me while we were at his parents house. I tried to get back to that picture to erase it but instead it went to his photos and I found not one but at least a dozen pictures of his ex on there. I stopped and put down his phone. Later that night once we were alone i told about it and that it bugged me. He said he was really sorry and that he completely forgot that he even had them. He told me he would erase them so that was that... Once i moved out here i realized my phone was disconnected so he left me his since he was going to have 24 hour duty. The pictures were still there, i flipped and left his phone alone and decided to just go on facebook and upload some of our pictures. I found waayy more pictures of her, some naked, and to top it all off i found a few videos of them having sex. I tried to talk to him about how it made me feel and what if the positions were reversed? He told me he felt horrible and then the next morning just acted like nothing happened between us. Now I'm feeling like an emotional wreck considering why he would just lie to me..

We told eachother everything, and talked about our future together all the time, now im wondering if thats even real or a lie.. i dont know what to do and am so confused, hurt and feeling really alone.
justinsgirl07 justinsgirl07 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 7, 2011

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So our fight was two days ago, yesterday he had 24 hour duty so i had all day to think about everything and a chance to calm down. I was frustrated but i talked things out with my best friend. He came home around 12 today and we talked things out. I told him how i felt and that if he wasn't over her that I needed to know. He told me he was 100% over her, and that he does love me.<br />
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Point is he erased all of it. Things won't ever go back to normal but we'll make things work out.

I have been in the same situation. Not with the guy im with now but the one b4 that. lol Our relationship would get better for a little while but then eventually crashed and burn. I know you love him, but your better than that, my advice would be get out. You have tried talking and that isnt working, I would get out before things get worse

the worst part about it is that im still new to the area so i cant really call up a friend and go for a cup of coffee or anything else to get it off my mind.. the only plus side is that i was able to skype with my best friend and she told me to calm down and try talking things out and seeing where they went from there.. im crossing my fingers and wishing for the best but im not gunna stick around and be some consolation prize to him.

Wow, I don't even know what I would do if I were in your shoes. I'd be crushed for sure. Guys tend to be less emotional about some things than girls, so maybe he felt really bad about you finding those pictures but he didn't want to make a big deal about it. But if he isn't deleting that stuff that's probably something to worry about :/<br />
It's up to you to decide if he's worth it all. If you're truly happy with him, you should try your best to work it out. Make sure he knows this is a BIG deal for you. If he still doesn't care, there's something to consider there.