Feel Off Today

I'm feeling down right now... I started having mood swings, I feel anxious, scared, etc. I have a bunch of mixed emotions. I literally feel like crap. I'm scared to death of the thought of being alone. I know that I have to be independent and what not but I need my best friend beside me, my sailor. I don't want to get into these moods now... he hasn't even left! But knowing he will be is killing me. I obviously do not act like this in front of him... I lie and tell him I'm fine even though he knows I'm lying. --.--
But I hide it.. at least try to... Knowing that it wont be easy and not seeing him and being apart for so long scares me. I thought to myself will I be able to handle this? My heart says yes, you can do it, you're head over heals for this guy, he loves you like crazy. There's respect and love in the relationship and
"if you want something to work you make it work no mater what."- Said by my sailor :)
My mind says, there's loads of temptation but my heart and eyes are set on this one man... but still there are people out there that will try to be weird and insistent. --_--
Also, him losing interest in me? Or not being able to handle so much.
He told me he wants me to finish school and once I am he wants me to move in with him.
I'm just drowning myself with negative thoughts... I just needed to write what I was thinking and feeling. I feel better although those stupid thoughts are there in the back of my mind. Thank you for reading... any comments would help me feel better.
Richardsgirl87 Richardsgirl87
18-21, F
3 Responses May 9, 2012

My baby left 2 days ago, so far it has been the worst two days of my life, **** i tear up just writing about it. Just remember how much you love him and know that you are the one thing keeping him going. The first night when I dropped him off I felt sick and I still dont have any appetite.... but you have to think it cant get worse from here. Everyday he is a way is one day closer to when he comes home. Write letters to him all the time, start on day one tell him your emotions and what is going on in the city and with music... they cant keep in the know on their own. We are creatures of love girl, do what your best at and love your sailor with all your heart.

Thank you!
It's tough but I'll do it and go for it. I adore him, he's my best friend. I'd be a plain book if he wasn't in my life. He brings all the excitement to me. We don't have to even talk just being in the same room laying next to one another is enough to keep me happy. ") His presence makes me happy.

I know that feeling, Tyler and I have been together almost 2 years, we have been living together the whole time. He is my better half and he makes me feel complete. you feel so isolated once they leave.Thank god I found this website though because it is tough when no one wants to hear about your feelings cuz they dont get it. It is a roller-coaster ride that you cant get off. God will it be worth it though! Everytime I start to cry, I think about watching the man I love walk so proudly across that stage doing something that makes him happy, that will make every tear worth my time. Just hang in there Love makes everything alright ;)

You will get thru it though. Its going to be tough and ur gonna feel hurt but in the end it will all be worth it to know that hes happy and doing something he really wanted to do. The days where he will be back will be so full of joy and happiness and you will forget you were even sad. :)

Aww thanks love!

You have every right to express these feelings that you are having. Listen to what hes been saying to you. "if you want something to work you will make it work no matter what" hes very right :) You may feel alone at times, but just keep it in your head that hes by ur side every step of the way even if hes not there physically. Hope this helps a lil bit :)

Thanks, really appreciate it.
I was crying not to long ago... I feel literally helpless. :(
I tell myself I can do this, I'll handle this... but today I feel so sensitive and hopeless.