Dear Lord, Can I Please Think About Something Else For 2 Seconds. Please. Amen

Today has been rough, No word since he left the airport, I am sure your suppose to get a 1st phone call so you know he is there and safe. Neither I or his family have heard a thing and its been 4 days. I thought the first night was suppose to be the worst... I still feel like that x 100. I miss my best friend. I miss my cuddle buddy, I just want to see him smile and hear him laugh. We spent 24/7 together you woulda thought we were attached. We have never been apart longer than 5 days in almost 2 years. I feel like I cant think straight, **** he finishes my sentences. Nothing is as much fun without him. I am sorry to be saying all this and being all depressed and what not.. but I need to vent and nobody I know cares enough to listen, even if they do listen they dont get it. I have been writing him letters but I wouldnt dare let him know how weak I feel right now. I know I have to be strong for him, During the day it is easier.. its at night and I am all alone in our apartment with our dogs and all his pics are around and I have nobody there. The tears just come. My sailor is the most amazing man I know. He is just the light of my life, my better half. We have been talking about marriage, He wants to get married after he grads. I cant wait to be his wife. I love tyler, but lord I dont love his job :(. Thanks for caring enough to read...
crawford1411 crawford1411
18-21, F
3 Responses May 13, 2012

I'm scared of when that time comes... but I'm so glad I found this place. Who knew a whole big world of supporters (in your same situation) was waiting right here?! :)

Keep your head held high. I've been there, done that. I was so depressed. I lost my job, my dog isn't able to live with me so she is staying with my boyfriends mom, then she was attacked and her eye popped out, my boyfriend left for the navy, and I have to live with my crazy family!!! It happened all so fast. I wanted things to go back to normal and be able to live with my boyfriend again, be with my puppy and not worry about bills pilling up because I couldn't pay them. I didn't want to write him how weak I was and depressed that he wasn't here to comfort me. I didn't know how emotionally I leaned on him and how much he mad everything make sense and make my whole day better. So at first I tried just staying positive but I found myself frozen and unable to actually write him good letters. When I got his first letter I was just so happy I cried/balled! No one knew how I was feeling and what I was going through. It was hard. When he got my letters and was able to call me he immidiately asked what was wrong. It worried him more that I wasn't being truthful in my feelings. You can still motivate him and make him happy but at the same time you need to fill him in on whats going on in your life/ head! He is completly isolated from the world. You, are his life line. You make him push forward and want to finish boot camp strong. You give him the boost and confidence. My sailor told me that every little letter I wrote, every little cheesy kiss on the page, perfume on the letters, and creative color made his whole entire WEEK! He would even share the scent with others. haha. Just know it will be over soon. Chin up and know we are all here to help you through this. If you need to talk I'm always on pretty much. :) Sorry for the long rant. Have a fabulous day!