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Emotional Confusion:sorry Its So Long :/

Well I have been with my sailor for two years now. Before we started dating we worked together and we were friends then things just took off for us. We had been together for about 8 months and then we moved in together. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I will admit that we have had our disagreements and what not but I've always known that I loved him. He left for boot camp feb. 13th of this year. When he left his more came from out of town and took everything she could fit in her car. I was so upset by this and I felt betrayed she also insisted that I get all the bills put in my name so not only was my other half leaving but I couldnt even feel him in my home any more. Well being there was a struggle for me and I had to get out of that apartment so I turned my lease over to a friend and moved back home with my mother. Letters started arriving from boot camp and our relationship never seemed more alive. I wrote him every day and my time seemed to fly by and before i knew it he had graduated and he was going to Texas. He got Texas and we talked and texted as much as possible but soon the texts and phone calls started to come fewer and fewer. I know that he was busy but on the weekends I thought I would get more attention. I had expressed to him that I had wanted to get married and start our lives together and before A-school he didnt know. So I dropped it. Then in june of this year I got the chance to go to Texas to visit him. I was so excited and when he saw me he cried and later that night he asked me if I would marry him and of course I said yes. It was sunshine and butterflies till half way thru july. He started growing more and more distant and wanting to go hang out with his friends alot and when he would talk to me I would ask whats wrong and if he still loved me and one day he said that he wasnt sure if he really wanted to get married and when he got to va it would be his first command and that they really dont like for young sailors to get married.(hes 20 and I'm 22) I told him that Im sure that they dont want any military person to get married but it doesnt matter what the navy wants its what we want. So after he told me that it started freaking me out that he would just change his mind about wanting to be with me. Needless to say my being scared really hasnt helped anything and hes been telling me he needs space. So i told him fine have it. He keeps telling me I dont understand what its like being with someone in a branch of the military but I think that I do. I understand that the Navy comes before me. I feel that it should be the Navy (including his job), me and then his friends and social life. He told me last night that we fight to much and that he doesnt even know if he wants to be with me anymore. That we can try and work it out when he gets to va. I feel like Im on a treadmill not going anywhere. I have already been with this person and lived with him. I know who he is. He told me I broke his heart but he broke my heart to. I told him that I cant stay in the dark its gotta be on or off I cant deal with gray area. I just need some advice I dont know what Im supposed to do. Is the ultimate sacrifce being with military person really your self? I just need help cause he tells me to wait but what am I gonna be waiting for if he doesnt know if he wants to be with me or get married.
sailorsgirlfor2years sailorsgirlfor2years 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 6, 2012

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Yea I know. I have no clue what do anymore.

I am sorry. Just try and keep living as normally as possible. Eventually your questions will get answered.

Thanks for the support!

Yea I do really need answers cause I'm already going crazy. I just dont think he understands what I have to do either and how it makes me feel. He tells me its a shame u wont wait but I havent went anywhere. Im just very unsure of whats going on.

Maybe he is trying to push you away? I know its probably not what you want to hear but it just sounds a little fishy to me.

Wow. That is a tough situation. You do sacrifice a lot being with some one in the military, but I don't think you sacrifice yourself. There is a lot going on for him right now. He may just be conflicted. My sailor gets frustrated a lot and there isn't much I can do about it but tell him I am here when he needs me. I would wait it out for a little while but but not too long or it will drive you crazy. You need some straight answers and he needs to tell you what is really going on.