My Sailor Cheated....

Hello everyone, I'm a NAVY girlfriend. My boyfriend left Sept. 4th, 2012 for boot camp which was the day of our two year annivesary. I have already started writing a letter, just waiting on the mailing address up there to send them. And last night as i went to finish a letter i recieved an odd message on facebook from a girl who is also going into the navy. she went through all the training and everything with my boyfriend. i had met her a couple of times so this didnt worry me. what she asked me did though... She asked me if we were still together or if we broke up?? she sent me her number so i texted her and got launched in to a long conversation. I found out that the last few days he spent with her. He hadn't taked to me at all one friday and on the the next day until like 3. he even came into where i worked and didnt say a word to me. I stayed up that whole night getting things ready for his going away party. i found out that friday when i was supposed to come over, she was. Saturday i hadn't really felt like going to his party after how he made me feel. But i did. At one point i remember asking him if he liked her, or if i needed to worry about her, and he got all mad and was saying how pissed he was that i was even asking him that. now i know he got all defensive becuase i was on to him.

so back to the conversation with the other girl. She told me that she had spent the whole weekend with him, and he hadn't been talking to me all weeekend and she though we were over. he also told her we hadn't been talking for weeks. so sunday i spent the whole day with him, and he took me home early bc he was tired and had family things all the next day. she told me that she spent that night with him. they went out to Kush, which is a hookah bar, and he even met her parents that night.

So monday at 4 am he sent me a break up text saying how unhappy he was and that he couldn't do this anymore. I couldnt stand myself so i bagged up every single thing we ever had and put it in a bag and took it to him. When i got there though he couldnt break up with me. He just kept saying he didnt know and needed to think. He said he would let me know that night.

That was his last night. He spent that night in the hotel with all of the other navy recruits. But guess who went with him and his family on the last night to the hotel. Her. not me. he ignored me all day long. That night when the family left he called me and said he loved me and was sorry and he was just scared and he wanted to be with me. i believed him and would have until one more piece of information came forward. I found out that Monday the other girl was at his house all day long, and he slept with her.

So he cheated on me with another girl, the night before he left. And then calls me and fools me in to taking him back. I dont know what to do anymore. I just cant tell my family. I needed to get this off my chest. any advice is appreciated.

I did write a letter that i havent sent yet with the entire conversation i had with this girl. I do plan on sending it to him, so he can finally make the decision. I feel so let down and disgusted that i can barely function. I loved him so much, and after everything i still love him and want to be with him. But im leaving the final decison up to him. Somebody help me???!?!?!??!??!?!!!!! By: Me
Age: 18-21, Woman Feature This Story
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dchasteen dchasteen
18-21, F
6 Responses Sep 6, 2012

So I'm sort of on the opposite end of this... I started to see a really cool guy. It was just casual, and neither of us was seeing anyone. Which I asked and we "established" very quickly. I liked him. He liked me. It was nice. But it was simple. I said I didn't want to be all involved with Facebook and Instagram or whatever because I wanted to get someone in real life. He was like "Really? Okay then, I guess. That's cool." And it was... He ended up moving. He got stationed elsewhere but he called me to talk. Like, actually just talk, about life.

Unfortunately there's that Facebook update... Ya know... The one that asks you to add people based off contacts in your phone? And um. Well, my thought process was (fake name of course) "Michael? Michael Wh- OH. Hey, Michael? Ah, I'm going to click on this." So I did... And remember how he didn't have any girls in his life? Well, when he said he'd HAD one girlfriend I guess he forgot to mention that HE STILL HAD THE SAME GIRLFRIEND. And it was one of the only visible things on his feed. Along with their anniversary date, which was sometime in 2012.

I feel like a fool. I had no idea. None at all. I feel hurt, and I feel awful and stupid. And what now? Do I tell her? I can't do that. I shouldn't, right? I really think that this isn't something he just does. I think he must have been lonely and sad and I was there for him. Help.

I'm going through the same thing right now.. I've been with my boyfriend for about seven months, and we were pretty serious. He went on multiple family vacations with me, got really really close to my entire family, and I got close with his family. We both knew he was leaving for the navy eventually but our relationship was so strong that we decided on doing everything to make it work. I did everything for him, if he wanted something, id buy it for him. He had a little bit of financial issues so I would always pay when we went out to lunch and stuff like that. I also drove everywhere. He never really took me out on dates, he did sometimes though. He did pay, but with gift cards. And he never bought me anything. Never. Not one little present. I mean I always pushed that aside because I knew he had money issues but I always thought he would surprise me one day. But anyways back to the point.. Dylan( my boyfriend) had went to a school volleyball game with his friends last Thursday night. And sometime in between the short amount of time he was there, he had went outside with the biggest ***** in the school and "hooked up" with her. Nobody knew, but her two friends that she told afterwards. Supposedly the incident only happened for like 5-10 minutes. But yes. He cheated. Not knowing this, he spent the next five days with me, acting as if nothing was wrong. They were his last days. We made love the night after, and then two days after that.. He continued to tell me he loved me and everything and we were really good. We went to a beach timeshare with his family for his last night and everything went well. Then the next day I dropped him off at the navy recruiters office for his departure to Jacksonville. His family went up and stayed the night there and so did me and my mom separately. We got a hotel and went out to dinner with them the night before and then said our goodbyes at the hotel before he had to go in for cerfew. The next day we went to Meps and waited from 10:30- 4:00 for him to actually go off to the airport. We were all sad but I could tell something was up with him, but I figured it was just nerves. We said our goodbyes, and it was really really sad. He even called and left me a voicemail before he got on the bus to boot camp to tell me how much he loved me, and to stay positive and that I was his everything and that I'd be hearing from him shortly. He left it so I could hear his voice whenever I wanted to.. But I went to school the next day to have a lot of people talking.. Lots of rumors.. Then someone finally told me what was going on. They said they heard he had cheated on me. With this girl named Stephanie Ikerd. She's the dirtiest, grossest, trashiest, ***** you could ever imagine. The entire school hates her, and they hated her even more that day. Once I had heard this rumor I found Stephanie and she completely denied the entire thing. She said she had nothing to do with him and that people just make up rumors about her because they hate her. Which I believed. Then I called his best friend who was with him that Thursday night and he said he had no idea of him doing that what so ever. I felt a lot better hearing from the two of them that it wasn't true. But then I kept getting messages and messages saying not to believe Stephanie and that it was true. So I freaked out again, I kept texting her and texting her begging for her to tell me the truth. And she would not answer my texts. She finally came clean and told me that they did hook up but he had told her that he had broke it off with me because he was leaving and she had no idea we were still together. She also said she was very sorry. Meanwhile, everyone in the school was talking about it also ranting about it on twitter. EVERYONE AND I MEAN EVERYONE was tweeting to me and tweeting about her and how she was such a **** and how they were sorry for me. I was completely heartbroken. And I still am. I am
Unable to talk to Dylan until I get a letter from him with his address. But finding out the day after he left for boot camp is the hardest thing. I lost my virginity to this guy and I have him everything. For him to completely lie to my face and tell me he loves me hurts so much. And I have no way of hearing his side of the story. A lot of people don't believe it. But there's so much proof to back this up.. And Stephanie isn't the type of girl to make this up and make everyone hate her because of it. I'm so hurt, confused and crushed. And I haven't left my bed for three days. Let alone eat anything. I've been crying non stop. And I don't know what to do. I couldn't see it in my heart for him to do such a thing, but I don't have any way of knowing the actual truth for a long time. This is the worst heartbreak I've been through, and I cannot stop thinking about it. We've had a past where I had a problem with him snapchatting her and I put a stop to it. I'm a really good girl liked by a lot of people and I never did anything to deserve what he did to me. I'm shattered, and in a really dark place. And I don't know how to find my way out.

My fiancé cheated on me with a girl in the navy. They went all trough training together and she's flirted with him since day one. He assured me that she was just like a sister. A week before our 5 year anneversary, he broke up with me. Out of nowhere. I never saw it coming bc he talked about OUR future all the time. Now they're together and I've tried to move on but I have so much animosity towards both of them bc she knew he was engaged and she still pressured him. And obviously I'm disgusted with his behavior and think both of them are a horrible excuse for a Navy Sailor. I always hear about how the civilians can't handle the military lifestyle, but it seems like the actual "Heros" can't keep it in their pants. They need to be a lot tougher and brainwash respect and loyalty and fidelity during boot camp. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this though... I thought I was for a long time and no one understands the dynamics at play. It just sucks.

I think of this when my boyfriends away and it's scary because you just never know especially with stories like yours. For me I'm a strong willed person and even if you do love him if he's doing it before he even left hell probably do it when he's away. Love doesn't fix everything especially not cheating. My advice would be to end it now before you get even more attached and more hurt if he does it again. Good luck and be strong!

I would be furious and I'd end it. Yes, I understand that you love him like crazy but gezz... Is that how much he loves you? to the point that he can sleep around with another girl.<br />
Not to be blunt or mean but smell the coffee darling and don't let this man mess your feelings and caring heart. You don't deserve that.<br />
Ignore his a@# and give him the cold shoulder. I'm sorry that that happened to you. If you need anything send me a message, I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

i think you should leave him. i think if you stay he will keep doing this. you need to find a guy who will be honest and treats you right