Omg This Hurts

I texted him about a half hour ago saying that I need a break and I think we need a break and that maybe then he can figure out what he really wants because I dont think its been me even tho he says it is actions r different n I got no text back saying anything.

ive tried so hard to be a good navy girlfriend and get nothing in return except him telling me how things will be when he's able to act like my boyfriend again

and im suppose to wait until then & he cant even take 2 minutes out his day to txt me "hows your day going?" or "I miss you" never done it I text I call I act like I care because I do

I miss him i miss the josh I loved idk who he is now sailor and nothing but sailor he dont know how to be both and hes scared to love me ive given him all i can give him tried and tried nothing changes he knows im unhappy now u think he would try to do little things to show that he cares no i tried to explain it he didnt get it----how can someone not know how to make his girl feel important he should of been doing that since hes been back from deployment --ive been nothing but good to him tried to be patient understanding supportive caring tried to do anything i could to make him happy.

he couldnt meet me half way
:( this sucks so sad
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3 Responses Sep 7, 2012

It is the best , consider it a seaside burial !

This is my whole story, but shortened - I've known my guy since kindergarten, we were Bf/Gf in 3rd grade, and have been on/off for 4 years or so. Every time we would fight, he would apologize and I'd be furious for weeks, months even. However we both keep returning to on another. <br />
I feel that although we both have HUGE trust issues, he has made great changes in his life. I refuse to believe he hasn't changed, even a little. We would get so close and he would push me away because he was afraid to commit. <br />
<br />
Do i know for sure he's changed? No. Do I want to believe he has - yes.<br />
Trust me, this kind of relationship is not easy, and it's not for a weak woman. <br />
You have to be on HIS schedule. If he is busy and in another state, what exactly can you do? You have to be patient, and understanding, and so does he. Just like Butterfly said.<br />
<br />
But should you settle? No. If you LOVE him, trust me - things will go ONE of TWO ways. Either you both can salvage the relationship, or you love him and yourself enough to move on and be happy. You must make yourself happy before you can make someone else happy. It's not easy, and sometimes this kind of relationship can really bring out one's insecurities, depression, anxiety, etc.<br />
<br />
This is the last shot I'm giving my guy, but I'm truly giving it 100%. And I told him that while we keep going back to one another, that is not enough reason to continue a relationship - that he must make an effort. <br />
He comes home in a month - we will see what happens :-/

I think you should step back and evaluate the relationship - and give him time to take everything in. You need to ask yourself if this is what you want, and if you love this guy. If both those answers are "yes" then let him cool off a bit, and talk about this when you are both calm and collected..

exactly, you guys just need some space to breath and then to evaluate how you feel when you're calm. fill up the next couple days with work, school, friends, drinking (lol,) whatever it is that is going to distract you from this situation so you have time to heal.

I had the same situation with my sailor while he was in A school. With our time zone difference, mandatory PT, and his sleep schedule, we would shoot 3-4 texts back and forth during the weekdays. I stayed GLUED to my phone during the times I knew I could talk to him, especially on weekends... weekends he spent de-stressing: bowling, going to the beach, going out to eat, hanging out with his friends.... for a while, I was lucky if during these weekends I got one "I love you!" texted to me every 3 hours. I was devastated that I was not apart of what he considered a break from his stressful week, and I tried to be sympathetic but it's so so hard for us to understand what they're going through from home. I talked to him a couple times about it, I'd get more texts for about a day and then soon things would go back to usual. Then on a Saturday doing my Anthropology homework I told him I was writing a paper about the Navy, and asked him if he wanted to hear it. He told me he would log on Skype. I was ecstatic whenever he would Skype me, immediately running to check my hair and put lip gloss on. I sat and waited for him to log on for 10 minutes, he texted me again that he was just running to get pizza and would be right back. So I waited another 10 minutes, and then I received a text saying he decided to go to the movies instead.. followed up by a "haha." I was furious. Why was getting him to talk to me like pulling teeth?? I couldn't even get 5 minutes worth the Skype with him, there was always a better option. I was so angry that I didn't text him again for the rest of the day. Since I could not understand what was going on in his life, I spilled my heart out into one long (slightly harsh) email about what it was like to live my life, tailoring my day around him and receiving nothing in return. I let him know that I wasn't asking for him to sit with his computer and phone and not enjoy his free time, just that it was those texts shooting back and forth that got me through the long bouts of silence. I told him that when he couldn't even give me that, it truly felt like we were just exes who ended friendly and kept in contact, and that wasn't what I was looking for in a relationship. He in turn told me how he felt, and we met each other halfway, he makes more of an effort and I am more understanding of his lifestyle. If he is serious enough about keeping you around and you tell him that he is driving you away from him, you should see a change. I hope my story helps you, girls like us need each other. <3

it's the worst feeling too, because you are so in love and don't want anyone else or to even be single but sometimes it feels like your boyfriend is an imaginary person you think and talk about all the time but doesn't actually exist. sometimes even when i feel like there is no solution when things are bad, i give myself a break and cut back on communication with him and allow myself to calm down. i have a friend who was also in the navy years ago and one time l told him how i feel like my sailor takes me for granted and he explained to me how the guys are all together: there is no talking about your feelings or showing of weakness, there are few escapes, and often times your girl is the one that feels the heat of your stress because she is who you are most comfortable with. when i heard this it made it a lot easier for me to understand the ways he had changed. i urge you to try giving yourself a break, because i can tell you from experience that even when you feel fed up, no one else is your sailor and no one else is worth it.

I'm in the same boat. It's been about a month since I've heard from my boyfriend and I've seen him online on Skype but he doesn't message me and I don't know if he's even sitting at this laptop so I don't call him. He's in power school right now and I know he's busy/stressed out so I don't text him anymore as to not be a bother but I can't help but wonder if he's using that as an excuse to not put any effort into our relationship. A simple 3 second text saying "I miss you" won't hurt, ya know? When we started dating he seemed really enthusiastic and said he wouldn't try if he didn't think we'd work out but idk. His last texts were really vague but he didn't seem like he wanted to break up.

have you tried to telling him that buttercupaday?

No. I don't want to seem clingy or want him to think that I expect him to drop his life to soothe my insecurities, ya know? I wait by the phone for him to text or call but the more time that passes, the less I think he'll ever try to contact me again.

buttercup: i can't tell you how many times i've said exactly what you just said to my girlfriends, you have to be able to talk to him if he thinks you guys are going to stay together through this experience.

Amanda: exactly! so give him space and let him do the calling and the texting... trust me.. if your name stops popping up on his phone he's going to wonder what is up and go out of his way to find out

I feel like if he wants to talk to me then he will. I'm tired of putting myself out there and getting nothing back. If he doesn't text me before my birthday then I'm officially moving on.

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