He's Leaving Soon...

My boyfriend of 3 yrs is enlisting next week. He has expressed a lot of doubt that our relationship will survive his decision to become part of the Navy. He worries that we will both feel differently when he completes bootcamp, that I won't be able to follow him wherever he has to go,...a lot of things are cause for alarm at this point I guess.

I would like to hear from those of you who have been through this what to expect? How did your significant other cope with that first year of training? I am hopeful that his time away will increase his resolve, and mine, to make our relationship work...I know this is a huge step and I want to be able to support him the best way that I can...

Any words of advice or encouragement are welcome...
KAL2706 KAL2706
26-30, F
3 Responses Dec 11, 2012

My boyfriend and I were dating four years when he enlisted. He will complete a full year in the navy in may. It has been extremely tough, I am not going to lie. There will be many ups and downs and maybe even time apart so that you both can think things through to make sure you both can handle the lifestyle. That is exactly what me and my boyfriend went through. But in the end we find that we love each other and would rather be together trying to make such a difficult relationship work, rather than just walking away. It is amazing that through all this time apart that my boyfriend and I remain in love. Yes somedays its harder than others and there are rough patches. But if you both want this , love will find its way. Try and stay positive. I wasn't at first and it killed me. Focus on yourself while he is gone and trust that if things are meant to be they will be. So love him and enjoy every second you have until he leaves. I know I am younger than you but please feel free to talk to me anytime you would like. I understand.

Thank you for sharing your experience ;) I have no plans to give up on him...I hate that he feels so insecure about what is going to happen with us in the future and I wish I could convince him that we are going to get through this....That part is hard. What did your BF say about his experience in bootcamp? Did he miss you a lot or did he not really have the time to think much about those things?

Well he isn't back yet. He'll be finished camp January 18th. Ummm, I really won't know how his experience is and what its like until he responds to my letters, in which I should get back sometime next week. He can't tell me everything though. Somethings are confidential and not allowed to be spoken about. Uhhh, well just show him and prove to him that you guys will get through this, and that you're not going to let distance get in the way. He's just very nervous and time is winding down for him hun. So dont you know make him even more nervous lol. Just show him better that you can tell him (=. After everything is done, both of you will realize that it was worth it.

Hi hun, well for one: WELCOME TO THE NAVY GF/ FIANCE/ WIFE CLUB lol. Ummm, my sailor left Nov. 18th, and will graduate from boot camp in January 18th. Starting out, its going to be VERY tough and devastating. Make sure you get all the time in that you can with him before he departs. You'll have your moments of doubts, because you won't know whats to happen, and will throw you off guard. I'm a senior in high school, my bf graduated last year. Ummm, all I can say is that if you really love him, stick it out, support and encourage him, stand by his side (because he's going to be going through even worst hell and back in RTC) NO MATTER the difficulties. Its going to be a lot of tears, but in the end it will all be worth it. REMEMBER that this is a test of you guys relationship, to see if you two can handle the distance and still be committed, or to become distracted and give up on what you both have. You wont be able to talk to your sailor in boot camp, UNLESS they let him call (if him and his divisions earns it). Other than that, your ONLY communication is letter through via mail. After he graduates boot camp, thats when he gets a little more freedom, you will be able to phone each other, skype or oovoo with one another as well. Life as a Navy Sailor and a Navy Sailors Girlfriend is not easy. But if you really want something, you cant let it go. Just giving you some heads up love. I wish you two the best, get ready for a rocky, but all in all worth it road and relationship. If you need anyone to vent to or just need a friend, I'm here anytime. Good luck girl (=