I Need Some Positive Advice But Also The Truth....

Here is some background:
I am 17, just graduated HS and my boyfriend is almost 19. We have been dating for 8 months and when he leaves for boot camp we will have been dating over 10 months, known each other for over a year. We have had AMAZING times and rough times while we have been dating. He went to California, we live in Missouri, for a month to spend time with his bro who is in the navy and we survived that and were the same or better when he got back. We have seen each other at our worst and our best. I truly have never felt this way about anyone and he says he feels the same. I know he loves me and I love him, but I don't know what is going to happen. We talk about the future and being together and that is all I want. My boyfriend leaves for boot camp on March 19th. So we have a couple months left and the past month has been great!!

My problem is that I am scared. I'm not just scared......I am terrified! His whole family has or is in the navy, even though I am close with them I don't know how to talk to them about this and don't have anyone else to talk to bout these things.....

I am scared that he will go away and when he is permentally stationed he will find someone else because I cant go with him yet. I am sooooo scared that everyone is right that it wont work but I needa know that I am right that it can work. I am going to work as hard as I can to be with him. That is all I want. The other day he seemed like he wants to get married to me some day. I know we are young but were planning to wait a couple of years.

I really am just lose. I need any and every advice about being a navy girlfriend that I can get. Not just advice about us staying together but advice about EVERYTHING! Please tell me the truth and give me any faith that couples do stay together through this all.........because all my friends and other people act like it wont.

Sorry for the rambling lol ((:
emmysue007 emmysue007
18-21, F
3 Responses Jan 10, 2013

Considering I'm extremely new to the navy life I can really add my two cents from he navy perspective but my advice to you is take it day by day jjust like any relationship things will be hard and there are going to be moments that will crush you and you think its not worth it but you have to remember that if you don't try you never know how it will go. Don't listen to people who say its not worth it because its not their life its yours and your boyfriends. My boyfriend is also from a navy family and their advice to me was being independent because my boyfriend will not always be there and I have to be self sufficient. Continue supporting your boyfriend but remember take care of yourself have a life for yourself too go to college or get a job it will also help with keeping yourself busy while he is gone I hope this helps you a bit!

Thanks ((: I just got a really good job and will be starting college about the same time he gets stationed lol

Coming from someone with the WORST anxiety ever, it will be okay. All this stuff your thinking? It's one hundred percent normal. And it sucks to say but those thoughts won't ever really go away. It's just trust. When he leaves for bootcamp, and when he's in bootcamp, you will be all he's thinking about. I promise you that. The thought of you and seeing you is what's going to keep him going. When he goes to A school, it'll be hard because that'll be the first time he'll really have freedom, and he'll be busy with school, so he probably won't talk to you as much as you'd like. BUT DON'T WORRY. If he loves you, than there's nothing better for him out there and he won't go looking. It's hard to accept that and realize that, I'm still working on realizing that, and we're getting married next month! Everything will be fine, I can promise you that. It won't be easy, at all, and it's going to take work, sacrifice, and compromise from the both of you. But it'll be worth it. Don't worry! And if you ever need anything, my name's Jenn, don't be afraid to ask (:

Thank you! Yall are all helping soooo much ((: I have bad anxiety as well.... it stinks! I had myself so worked up last night thinking about this stuff that I couldn't sleep. I know this isn't going to be easy and it will take time. I just want everything to work out like planned you know? even though I know life isn't a movie lol

Well thats not true, just because people say its not going to work doesn't mean it won't. If you really do love him like you say and he loves you. And you guys work hard at your relationship, trust each other and have faith. It will work out. My boyfriend is in the navy and its been hard for the both of us. But we both know what we want to get married one day and we will do anything to stay together. But I'm not going to lie it is hard being a navy girlfriend and being away from him all the time. And just hope and pray to get a letter or a 5 sec phone call that MIGHT come. It is hard but if he is worth it you'll be fine. You just have to have faith in your relationship and work at it. So don't believe what people say, you guys can do it. IF you EVER need someone to talk to i'm here. Or if you have any questions feel free to ask me.
Just stay strong and have faith

thanks so much! I know if we want it to work it will but im scared you know? I just am tired of people talking because they do not know what they are talking about.

I had and i am still having the same thing happening to me. You just cant listen to what they say. But they don't know that they are talk about. They dont know you and him. So they cant know thats going to happen. I was scared in the beginning too, and i still have fears. But in the end its worth it. You'll be fine

your soooo nice and helpful! you make me feel soooo much better ((: whatever meant to be will be and ill be fine because god does put you through things that you cant handle((: im gonna stay strong and not listen to anyone anymore!!