Help Please, I Need Some Serious Advice.

I'll try to make our story short. Marcus and I began dating over two years ago, while he was a senior in school and I was a sophomore. He enlisted January of last year, and left for boot camp in June. We have since been through two break-ups, once before he enlisted and then right before he left. I attended his graduation as we realized breaking up because of the Navy was absurd, and we've been in a tentative relationship since.

Marriage is a topic we have both discussed and thought about extensively. I know he's the man I'm going to marry, and he has never treated me poorly before. Now, I'm met with a difficult decision. I'm finishing my senior year of high school, having already applied to colleges in state. He's in Connecticut with submarine schooling until August of this year, and won't find out where his next duty station will be until mid-July.

I had planned to attend a university here, in Florida, for a year, until he was at his next station. Then, I would transfer schools and move out to where Marcus is, and we'd be married.

He's suggesting that I put off schooling for a year, and move out with him sooner, because I won't have the obligation of college keeping me here. I would love to take that route, but I'm hesitating, because this means I'm putting off my schooling for a year. I'd be working full time, saving up money, which would be good, but at the same time, I don't want to run the risk of putting off school.

I love him so much. I want to make the right decision. Can any of you offer me advice? Were you ever in this sort of situation? What did you do?
GingerMarie GingerMarie
18-21, F
3 Responses Jan 20, 2013

I would love to move where my sailor is but you need to realize that if you move your moving for his job.You have to remember that you have a career to worry about too.I am staying home to finish school because you don't want to move and struggle alone with school.It would be best if you get your degree and you have something under your belt because I know you love him and any girl would drop what there doing be with their sailor but school is important and you don't want to regret not having a degree.Once you stop school it is very hard to go back and if your with him you won't have your family to push you to go.

Your best bet would be to try and take classes where you are now (do your research and make sure they will transfer well to the school you want to attend). You may want to also consider finding a good and practical program (such as some sort of medical assistant program or something along those lines) where he will be based (you may not no where yet, so that hinders you). A lot of girls tend to not take the classes beforehand and then don't have the ambition to after they get married if they didn't start yet. If you are taking classes and transferring, the best bet is to take general classes that have little to do with your major, but ones that you need to take. Classes that relate to your major usually won't transfer nicely or won't count toward the major. You will also want to make sure you find a major or program leading you to a job that allows you to move with him! I hope that this helps! I work at Financial Aid at a private university (where I see a lot of people's credits fail to transfer which leads them to go to school a lot longer) and I am a sophomore in college in an intense PA program, so I do not really have the option to move and marry my long time boyfriend quickly and I will be finishing school before we truly get to be together again (this semester + two more years of undergrad and one year of clinical rotations that will hopefully be near his base). Good luck and if you have any more questions that you think I might be able to help you with, just ask! :)

I'm sort of in the same situation right now. I've applied to schools here in Washington, been accepted, and I'm waiting to make a choice. My sailor is in SC currently in a school until April. He will be in power school for 6 months after and then will either come home with a stay 21 until he gets a degree and can attend officer training (forgot what the technical name for that is) and if he doesn't get a stay 21 he'll have nuke school is SC and will be there for a year and a half at least.
I'm trying to decide what I want to do because I want to be with him and we are planning on getting married within the next couple of years. We are in officially engaged, but we made a verbal commitment. Basically I just don't have a ring. It's hard to decide what I'm going to do, but I'm probably staying here until I have my degrees, or I will transfer somewhere to be with him after my first couple of years.

Thank you for your input! :) It'll help me. We have a verbal commitment as well - I'm young, turning 18 in two months while he turns 20 in three. I know marriage will be soon, since that's the only way I could move anywhere with him. I'm just hesitant to go, I don't want it to seem like I'm running away from home. That's not what it is at all.

I understand completely! Everyone says we're too young and that I shouldn't rush to leave home for him. But I would drop everything to be with him everyday. We've been through more than most couples ever go through and we can make it through this distance we can make it through anything.

Mine is in SC right now also!! I'm going to see him in 26 days!

Lucky! I wish I could see mine that soon! We will hopefully see eachother in April.

So exciting!! It was a definite last minute decision to go out there but I think we needed a break from the distance! I am hoping for an April visit also, I think we might try once every 2-3 months maybe.... Idk!

That would be so nice! I might go in July or August depending on work and school and how things work for him!

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