I Am a Navy Girlfriend
No Longer A Navy Girlfriend...But It Doesn'T Make Sense.
By:
hawki893
Written on February 16th, 2013
I haven't posted on here since my boyfriend (ex now, I guess) graduated boot camp 8 months ago. He went straight to California after graduation to go to language school for a year and will graduate this August. When he left we decided it was best for me just to stay behind and save money and then after he graduated and moved to his permanent duty station, I would move there.
We have been together for 3.5 years, are both 23, and college graduates. We are 2,000 miles apart and tried to make the best of the long distance. I have been visiting him every 3 months and we would text daily. But, he is in class all day long and I work a 4-midnight job Monday through Friday, so talking was severely limited during the week and we were lucky if we'd be able to send more than 4 or 5 texts a day. The weekends were a little better. We would text a fair amount on Saturdays and then every Sunday we would talk on the phone, but it was still really frustrating that we had no other time to talk. We started e-mailing and it was working out really well, but then two weeks ago, the lack of communication got really bad and we got into fight. I said a lot of things out of frustration that I didn't mean (like saying I feel like he doesn't care about me when I'm texting him all that I can and he barely responds during the night). Things were awkward for a day or two just because neither of us knew how to act, but we reassured one another that we loved each other and that we would get through this. We talked things over when we could and things were back to normal again.
Last week, we were talking normally. He would tell me he loved me every night while I was at work and tell me he missed me. Then, Saturday (the 9th) I got a text in the morning from him and I could tell something was off. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing. Then I told him to be happy because I was coming to see him in 9 weeks. He responded that he had been thinking and he wanted to finish the conversation about the fight that we had a week earlier. I knew then that something bad was about to happen. He called me that night to talk and as soon as I picked up the phone I knew he was breaking up with me. I asked why and he said that our fight just made him realize how terrible the distance has been. He said most days he feels like he doesn't have a girlfriend just because we can't physically be together whenever we want like we could when we were in college. I feel bad because I got angry with him at first because this all was completely out of the blue (since things had been normal for us the entire week before). I told him that we've already made it through 8 months of being apart and we only have 5 more to go. How can we just give up now? Not to sound selfish, but I've literally put my life on hold, moved back in with my parents, and am working a job that I hate just to save money to be with him in August. No matter what I said to him, I couldn't change his mind. He didn't want to continue trying long distance. He told me he could definitely see us being together in the future and that he really loves me and hates that things ended like this. We talked a little more and have continued to text everyday since (just "friend" texts), but this is driving me crazy.
Yesterday, I told him I would move to California for the summer so that we could be together. He told me that this summer is going to be the worst for him as far as availability goes since he'll be so close to graduating so, even if I was there, he didn't know if he'd have time to see me. I replied that wouldn't just having the opportunity to see one another make it worth it? And he told me that he feels like it would be too hard to try and make time during the hardest and most important weeks of his class. At this point I was beyond frustrated so I asked him if there was someone else and that was the real reason behind all of this. He said that no, that wasn't true and he didn't know where people were getting that from (because that was one of the first things his entire family have asked him as well).
I just don't get it. He broke up with me because of the distance and tells me he still loves me and could see us together in the future, but yet when I offer to move there on a whim he tells me no? That doesn't make any sense. I just can't figure out what's really going on with him. Also, I already have a flight and hotel booked to go visit him in April and he's just told me to "hang onto them" for now and we'll decide when the time gets closer if I should still visit or not.
He's in San Francisco with his friends this weekend so I told him I wasn't going to text him at all just to clear my head, but if he ever wanted to text me I would respond. Well...he hasn't texted me...at all. I kind of get the feeling he doesn't even miss talking to me at all.
Sorry I wrote a novel, I just really need some insight on this.
We have been together for 3.5 years, are both 23, and college graduates. We are 2,000 miles apart and tried to make the best of the long distance. I have been visiting him every 3 months and we would text daily. But, he is in class all day long and I work a 4-midnight job Monday through Friday, so talking was severely limited during the week and we were lucky if we'd be able to send more than 4 or 5 texts a day. The weekends were a little better. We would text a fair amount on Saturdays and then every Sunday we would talk on the phone, but it was still really frustrating that we had no other time to talk. We started e-mailing and it was working out really well, but then two weeks ago, the lack of communication got really bad and we got into fight. I said a lot of things out of frustration that I didn't mean (like saying I feel like he doesn't care about me when I'm texting him all that I can and he barely responds during the night). Things were awkward for a day or two just because neither of us knew how to act, but we reassured one another that we loved each other and that we would get through this. We talked things over when we could and things were back to normal again.
Last week, we were talking normally. He would tell me he loved me every night while I was at work and tell me he missed me. Then, Saturday (the 9th) I got a text in the morning from him and I could tell something was off. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing. Then I told him to be happy because I was coming to see him in 9 weeks. He responded that he had been thinking and he wanted to finish the conversation about the fight that we had a week earlier. I knew then that something bad was about to happen. He called me that night to talk and as soon as I picked up the phone I knew he was breaking up with me. I asked why and he said that our fight just made him realize how terrible the distance has been. He said most days he feels like he doesn't have a girlfriend just because we can't physically be together whenever we want like we could when we were in college. I feel bad because I got angry with him at first because this all was completely out of the blue (since things had been normal for us the entire week before). I told him that we've already made it through 8 months of being apart and we only have 5 more to go. How can we just give up now? Not to sound selfish, but I've literally put my life on hold, moved back in with my parents, and am working a job that I hate just to save money to be with him in August. No matter what I said to him, I couldn't change his mind. He didn't want to continue trying long distance. He told me he could definitely see us being together in the future and that he really loves me and hates that things ended like this. We talked a little more and have continued to text everyday since (just "friend" texts), but this is driving me crazy.
Yesterday, I told him I would move to California for the summer so that we could be together. He told me that this summer is going to be the worst for him as far as availability goes since he'll be so close to graduating so, even if I was there, he didn't know if he'd have time to see me. I replied that wouldn't just having the opportunity to see one another make it worth it? And he told me that he feels like it would be too hard to try and make time during the hardest and most important weeks of his class. At this point I was beyond frustrated so I asked him if there was someone else and that was the real reason behind all of this. He said that no, that wasn't true and he didn't know where people were getting that from (because that was one of the first things his entire family have asked him as well).
I just don't get it. He broke up with me because of the distance and tells me he still loves me and could see us together in the future, but yet when I offer to move there on a whim he tells me no? That doesn't make any sense. I just can't figure out what's really going on with him. Also, I already have a flight and hotel booked to go visit him in April and he's just told me to "hang onto them" for now and we'll decide when the time gets closer if I should still visit or not.
He's in San Francisco with his friends this weekend so I told him I wasn't going to text him at all just to clear my head, but if he ever wanted to text me I would respond. Well...he hasn't texted me...at all. I kind of get the feeling he doesn't even miss talking to me at all.
Sorry I wrote a novel, I just really need some insight on this.
By:
hawki893
Age:
22-25
,
Female
