I'm seriously seriously heart broken. And I'm not sure I want to live like this any longer. It hurts too freaking much. How could he do this? We loved each other so much. And as cliche as it sounds, words cannot fathom how in love we were and how strong he was. I guess I should've had some more faith. I should've hugged him tighter. I should've kissed him longer. And on the days it rained, I shouldn't have let him feel it but instead, be the umbrella over his head. And it's true the most painful goodbyes are the ones never said and never explained. I never got mine. And that kind of hurts the most. Instead, I got some hope. And my god, I held onto that hope all summer. But what do I do now? The memories don't fade, my love doesn't fade. So what do you do when everything you were looking forward to in life... is gone? I look for you in everyone and I guess that's kinda sad because you're never there. But you're not here either. And I haven't heard from you since, and I just miss you so ******* much. kept telling me that you’re sorry for your going away and that you really almost stayed but the truth is you owe that apology to yourself for thinking that you weren’t worth the wait or the loving. Maybe you haven't forgotten about me, and maybe you do still love me, but then again maybe none of those are even true. The not knowing kills me. I guess I kind of wish you would tell me you didn't love me anymore, instead of me getting heart broken day by day with my thoughts. And I know there's still many words to say, I know this paragraph is a mess, and it reflects me because I'm a mess too. But it all comes down to one thing really, I miss you.

If you read all of that, I love you and you're so cute :) I know I'm probably pretty annoying with my posts but it's a way to get my feelings out. And I love to write. So I just do it here. I know someone would understand.
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1 Response Aug 23, 2014

I hate that he's hurting you and hope he has an amazing explanation when he gets home. Until then, be the amazing Hannah that you are!!