He Left March 23rd

But they said he would leave on the 24th...unprepared for that moment, I to spend what i thought would be my last full day and night with him, saying goodbye, early. Last night wasn't so bad, he had his cell phone, so we got to text and call a bit while the van drove him to his hotel in San Antonio where he stayed before him and his group flew to Chicago today. Our best friend Daniel took me to Hooters where we work and I ended up getting pretty drunk off of Whiskey, Chardonnay, and Sake...(bad combo) So going to sleep was a simple task. I sat 4 alarms for 4am because that's when he had to get up and was gonna be one of the last times to call me. Around 4:15 i finally got his call, it was from a strange number though because his phone got turned of since he filed for a Military deferment on his plan.It was so good to hear from him, then i went back to sleep. The rest of the day today i have just tried to think positive and do my best to distract myself, you should see how clean my apartment is now. My roommate finally got home so we decided to go shopping for some outfits for the Lil Wayne concert tomorrow. We got in my car and I got the best call i could have asked for, my boyfriend Zayn borrowed a cell phone from someone he just met at the airport, it was a great surprise to hear from him. But its sad because i think this is even harder for him, It hurts, I can hear it in his voice, and I can hear him tearing up, and that makes me cry again. He got on the plane to Chicago finally arrived around 7:45. He told me earlier they get to make 1 phone call around 8 when they get there but it was gonna be a really short one. He surprised me AGAIN borrowed another strangers cell phone and called me at the O'Hara Airport for our last real convo, he knew i was expecting the 8 o'clock called and didn't want to worry me. He told me they had to eat their last meal until tomorrow morning and that they will not be sleeping until tomorrow either, that makes me sad. I waited and waited and waited for that final call to tell me he was finally there and ok, it lasted 26 seconds, basically a rushed "I love you so much, I'm safe and you can expect another call in about 3 weeks, i love you babe, gotta go now" click. Oh it hurts so much...a few hours later now and I still can't sleep, Ive had my best friend/love of my life taken away and it really is the most lonely feeling, i cant do anything about except be strong and count down the days. But i still feel helpless...

Dreamforever86 Dreamforever86
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 25, 2009

And to top off the misery of Zayn being gone and me not being able to talk to him, I just found out im PREGNANT with his baby...this is gonna be one hard road to travel down without him. I feel like im falling apart!

Keep in mind that though he isn't visibly here right in front of you all the way, he IS still with you through everything.

Stay strong and know your not alone. I'm here if you ever want to chat.x