He'll Be...alone

So today just sucked. I thought I would be happy, making a Valentine's day card for Mathew and helping my aunt make some for all her friends....but I've just felt miserable. I finally just layed down and just shut off my brain, but couldn't even sleep. I watched the video message Matt left for me...for the 50th time...and cried again. Then I decided to do something.


See, my Birthday is next week. I'm not living at home right now, so my mom emailed asking what I wanted for my birthday. I asked to be able to go to Matt's graduation. She asked where, I gave information. She never responded. Me, in my optimism, assumed that meant the trip would be a birthday surprise. But she didn't know the details of how I planned things out, so I asked my friend who was going to go with me to talk to my mom about it.


Then I get a call from my mom. Angry that I had 'sent a friend to talk to her about something instead of talking to her myself' (I had done that to protect the surprise if that was it) and telling me she and my dad had already decided I was not allowed to go.

 

Awesome.

 


So...if my friend hadn't called them...when was I supposed to find this out? on my Birthday when I saw them next? Yeah, happy freakin' Birthday to me.

Thing is...his mom can't go either. Can't afford it and has kids to take care of. He's going to be alone at and after graduation. And all my mom had to say to that was "well that's not your problem"

 

Yeah. It is.

 

Yes, I could go without her permission. But that would put my grandparents who I'm living with, my friend, and Matt in a very bad position with my parents. Not to mention what they could do to me.

 

I just feel so...broken. More for Mathew than for myself. What happens to him if no one is there?

 

 

Oh, also, the only glimmer of info I have about him is that a mom on navyformoms posted that she got a letter from her son, saying their division does not get along well. Wonderful, very encouraging.

 

I just don't know what to do with myself. How to break the news to Matt..

deleted deleted
26-30
4 Responses Feb 8, 2010

I'm glad you have come to a decision of not going against your parents, even consulting with an adult about this that knows the both of you. I honestly think you have taken the best step in this situation if you know you won't be able to change your parents' mind. You can probably ask some of his shipmates to take pics of him (and them) because most of the time they get each other's contact number or email so he can ask them to post their pics on facebook or send it to you via email. <br />
I wish you guys the best!

I agree with the other girls. You should talk to your parents like an adult and explain it to them. You're 18 or older right? You're kinda starting to be a grown up now lol. And well, I didn't get to go to Joe's graduation, I was really upset about it but things just didn't work out and it was okay. I know that if you end up not being able to go your boyfriend will understand and like evilandexpensive said he'll be able to go off base and into Chicago on leave. He'll still be happy I'm sure (although I'm sure he'd love to see you). But yeah, you're a big girl and this is important to both of you so try talking calmly with your folks and see what you can do.

I agree with WTBeals, talk (like an adult) to your parents. It not exactly the easiest thing - - I had to work my parents into the idea of me going. But it all worked out. And, if your worried about him being alone, don't be.<br />
<br />
There are hundreds of recruits - sailors by that point- whose families can't come, or can't stay for more than a day or so. The guys all get together and take the train into Chicago and look around. Just because his family isn't there, doesn't mean that he can't leave. <br />
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I know it's hard. But seriously, try talking to your family. Tell them why it's important to you. Tell him that he's important to you. And that him being alone is an issue for you, because you are an important part of his life.

I would suggest talking as an adult to your parents, be stern and don't lose your patience or start crying out of frustration. Keep telling them that you really want to go to the graduation and that you are respecting them as your parents, that's why you keep asking for their permission.<br />
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I'm not sure why they wouldn't let you go to your bf's boot camp grad but if they're concerned about you and him being alone and making babies (lol) then try to ask your parents why they're not giving you the permission to go. I would strongly suggest you go to the graduation because it's a once in a lifetime experience.<br />
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You still have quite some time before your bf graduates so keep talking to your parents and remember, don't lose your cool and get frustrated. Good luck!