Drifting

Through the past conversations that I've had with my guy, I feel as though we're drifting apart. I realize that this is a common fear for all of us, but things seem to have changed with him. We only talk via Facebook when neither of us can sleep and even then it never feels like we're connecting. He just officially started classes for A school last week, after being on hold for a while so I know he's really busy and dedicated to it all. I'm just worried. I'm worried I'm going to fly to Chicago and he'll drop the bomb that he doesn't want to see me anymore. I want to talk with him about all this, but I don't want to add any more stress and I'm trying to make the effort of remaining positive. And at times, it seems like he's trying to push me away!!! Ugh. I feel selfish, overly emotional and without having him to really talk to about all this, at least openly, I don't know who to turn to.

Stargazer07 Stargazer07
22-25, F
4 Responses Feb 9, 2010

Thanks everyone for your support and sharing your stories with me also; it has been a tremendous help. Next time we talk, I'm definitely going to bring the topic up because one thing is for sure, I can't do this alone. I think this new little speed bump has really come from him not not being comfortable to express himself like he used to. We're both actors and so we've always been accustomed to just saying what's on our minds. Lol, I feel like I'm rambling a bit, but anyway, thanks again for your comments, ladies and stay strong! HOOYA

wow i liked reading this. my boyfriend is still in boot ( he was SUPOSE to graduate this wekend but he went and sprained his ankle!) anyways, his a-school is only for 14 weeks, but seeing this makes me aware of what can happen and ill be sure to talk to him about it before he goes. back before he left for boot, we spent 2 years either with eachother or on the phone every single night (litterally, only about 5 nights we didnt talk cuz he was camping/hunting with no phone) and i know he is going crazy right now not being able to talk to me all the time, i think he would do his best to call me or message me as much as possible, but i think after reading this im going to bring the topic up to him to avoid any arguments or upset feelings and stress. thanks for posting!

I think the first couple of months of A school are always the hardest cause it's an adjustment for them and they're just trying to find their barrings. It was hard for me as well cause I just felt like I was waiting for something I didn't even feel was real anymore. It was hard to feel like I had a real boyfriend, and that I would see him again. One night I told him I didn't think I could do it anymore, and he was so shocked cause he had no idea I felt that way. We argued a little, but talked it over. It was frustrating for a long time, until I finally saw him again, then everything seemed to just go away. So yes it is a long, painful and emotional couple of months that they're in school, but it WILL be so worth it when they come back. I know everyone says that, but it's true. <br />
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This time when he left it wasn't as hard either, and I feel like things are so much better than they were four months ago. It's already been almost two months since he's been gone but we're still going strong, and even planning on getting married. I'm happy and I know that he's happy too. So definitely talk about it, communication is important in any relationship, but even more important in our cases :).

You NEED to talk to him about this! I felt exactly the same after my guy got to A school, he didn't call and we only facebook chatted once in awhile and I thought maybe he didn't want to be with me anymore because boot had changed him or something (he just seemed sort of out of it you know?). When I asked him about it, he said that he still loved me and wanted to be with me, but he was really busy and felt like maybe this whole relationship wasn't fair to me, and he told me that if I was unhappy I should leave him because he didn't want to make me unhappy and that he was giving me a free out now. I told him I knew it would be unfair when he left for boot and I didn't care, and I promised that if I was ever really unhappy I would leave and not suffer because of him (neither of us want that). After we talked about that, it was like a huge weight had been lifted of both of us. <br />
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It's still hard, and sometimes I still worry, but that's a navy girlfriends professional position lol. So we just have to do our best. I know it sucks a lot. But I really think that if you talk to him everything will end up for the best. I'm here if you ever need anything! Keep your chin up, everything will be alright. :)