so ive had a hard day and i need to vent.

So today i findout my mom doesnt want me to be with someone in the navy. I have been with Justin for a year and a half. He leaves in 33 days and right now is when i need her to be here for me and support me. She doesnt want me to marry someone and have to move around my whole life and be away from family but its my life i get to choose how i want to live it. I understand what she means but shouldnt she at least just be happy i have found someone that i care about and  cares about me. My dad fully supports me and Justin and is very proud of him and the choice he decided to go into the navy. My dad told me that my mom said if i married him and moved away she would have nothing to do with me. Me and my mother do not have a good relationship to start off with we have a bad past but i still wish she would understand. I love my boyfriend to death and im staying with him! But it sucks to know your mom is making you choose between her and someone you love. I just dont get it. His mom is supportive of us and everything as well as his dad and so is my entire family so why cant my mom?

justinsgirl16 justinsgirl16
18-21, F
6 Responses Feb 16, 2010

WTBeals & Minnestoagirl21 Thanks alot :] Im starting to really understand where she is coming from i mean i wouldnt want my daughter moving away from me but it is her life and i would be happy for her. Im going to try to talk to her sometime this weekend. I will let yall know how it goes :]

Aw that sounds hard :( My mom isn't a huge fan of me being with a Navy guy either (she really isn't a fan of the armed forces in general), BUT she supports me because she knows he makes me happy and treats me right. I am really sorry your mom reacted that way. That just sucks. A lot. I also know what it's like to have a parent disapprove of your relationship with someone, and that pretty much just blows. Hopefully your mom will come around and see that your man is right for you and stop giving you a rough time!

You know what, the same exact thing happened between me and my parents. I can sort of understand their point of view tho. I grew up in a different country, went to the States for college and now that I'm done, my parents wished for me to go back to live with them. Well I told them that I couldn't. I've been with my fiance for 5 years, built my life here, a good paying job, friends, etc. Plus I'm 24... Before my fiance proposed, me and my parents had a big argument and they forced me to choose between them and my fiance, and they said if I do choose him over the whole family, they would cut all ties with me and I would be disowned.<br />
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After a lot of tears, trying to reason to them and a lot of arguments, I told them that I could never choose between my fiance and my parents. None of my family members were happy about me marrying my fiance and the fact that he's in the Navy made it worse. Me and the rest of the family went on different paths for a few months, didn't really talk, and had a rough patch but my family is finally coming around the idea that I would always be their daughter (and sister), and that no matter where I live, I will still love them. Perseverance pays.<br />
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My suggestion for your case is to be gentle with her feelings, talk calmly and like an adult. Tell her that you can never choose either one because both are very important to you. I don't know your family situation or anything but remember, she is your mom. She's the one who went through a lot of pain to give birth to you, raised you since you were a defenseless infant and saw you grew up into a little girl, and now here you are, trying to make your own decision. I watched me sister in law and her daughter, and it reminded me of how my parents would treat me back then. They definitely love you and she's afraid you might choose the wrong way but assure her that you are still her daughter, but one that can make her own decisions now :)

Thanks :] Im going to try to sit down and talk to her. Because i realy wish she would be here for me through this.

usually when someone tries to make you choose like that, its their own insecurities coming through. explain to her that no matter what and no matter how far away you are, you will always be her daughter and want to have a relationship with her. if she cant understand that, her insecurities will get the best of her, maybe she will realize it before she loses you and maybe she wont. do what makes you happy, its your life and hopefully she will be able to appreciate that and be happy for you :)

I would just say u love him and even tho the distance is hard he is doing a great thing! I met someone in my school who was thinking of joining the military because its so hard to find a job now and that's a job you'll never lose not to mention endless respect and gratification. She probably is scared because if you do get married you will be gone from her and that's scary for a parent