My Story

I am a Navy GF of over 2 years.  He has been overseas for those 2 years.  Has another year to go.  I am hoping he'll ask to marry soon, I want to marry when I move with him next fall wherever he'll be stateside.  As a GF I am told we don't get much help on bases.  I don't have much of a family and his family doesn't think I am good enough for him.  All was fine at the beginning but, I messed up and got lonely.  I know I messed up big time (did not have affair though) but I think ti doesn't concern them.  If Todd is okay with it and we are okay then we should be okay- right?  I don't like to be alone.  I don't know why they all are upset - this other guy is a very good guy friend, we actually were dating a few years ago.

Anyways, I miss Todd.  He is on deployment and I send emails to him and he calls me when he can.  Daily if it is possible for him. 

Does anyone else have these issues?  What can I do to help this situation?  I know his folks are trying to get him to see their side- what if he does?  I need someone, I need him.

klennee klennee
22-25
1 Response Feb 26, 2010

I understand what you're going through to an extent...well, at least as far as the Navy issues and deployment issues are concerned, but not the family issues. From your post it's not exactly clear how you messed up...I assume from what you wrote was that you cheated, but I could be wrong, sorry if that's the wrong assumption. Anywho...as far as those issues go, you may want to work it out with his family...prove to them that you ARE worthy of their son, they aren't going to accept you being lonely as a reason to stray. If there's tension between you and the family, it will cause tension between you and the guy as well. If you marry him, they become your family. Just my advice on that issue...<br />
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Regarding the support issues, I feel the SAME way...my boyfriend just deployed...on Valentine's Day of all days...he won't be gone 2 years though...but quite a few months! The base doesn't give any support unless you're married. Same with the boat families and support groups (if he's on a boat). For example, the families from my boyfriend's boat get together every month and have a little party...just to keep in touch and have something to do while our sailors are away. My step-mom who has gone through this with my dad (he's retired Navy) has told me that I probably would not be welcome at the events because I'm just a girlfriend...in reality, most girls can't handle the lifestyle of their sailor being away several months, therefore most of them don't last through a deployment, so why should the wives take the time to get to know one of these girls who could potentially break a sailor's heart? Someone who is part of their Navy family. I completely understand the logic even though it does suck for us girlfriends to not get as much support...which is the reason I found this group! So where is he deployed to?