The Navy And The Nursing Student

I met my sailor on eharmony.com. I know, I know, it's an odd way to meet somebody. When we met he was on the tail end of his career and about to get out of the Navy. He didn't know what he was going to do once he got out, but he was determined to get out. I am in nursing school, on my last year. I figured that he could get out and use his G.I. bill to go to school while I finished up and then we could go wherever he wanted.

 

Just recently a new deployment opportunity came up. It's well paying and in a non-combat zone. He'd be able to just go out on a tender and come back to the island at night. The problem is that he would be gone for three years overseas and I still have a year of school. That doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is. I won't give up on my dream to be a nurse. I won't give up on being with him. These are two conflicting goals.

 

Long story short, he wants me to move to the island with him. I am scared out of my mind that after he leaves and gets over there and is away from me for a year he will feel differently and once I am out there it won't be the same and we'll fall apart in this foreign country. In my heart I know that this is a stupid idea but my head is pulling up all of these scenerios that have happened to people I know.

 



I guess that's why I'm here. I need some help from people who have done this before. You girls are my family now.

TheNurseandTheSailor TheNurseandTheSailor
22-25, F
8 Responses Mar 4, 2010

I also met my husband on the internet. I met him on mocospace :) I too am trying to get my degree in nursing. I have taken prerequisites but have to wait for his next duty station to go to school since we will only be at our current location for six months. Nice to see other people with similar experiences. In my opinion if you are able to go to school overseas and be with him you should do it. I think it is really hard to be away from the one you love.

Tell you boyfriend a Gulf War veteran says thanks for his service. Come home safely.

Agreed with LyndsJ, I wouldn't suggest you move for a boyfriend. That was very well said and that was exactly what my mother in law said to me and my fiance :)

In my opinion, not a bad idea if he is ready to make a bigger commitment than boyfriend. Some may not agree, but I certainly would not pick up my life and move across the world for a boyfriend.

Thank you guys so much for your thoughts and encouragement. Perhaps I should have mentioned this before, but I wouldn't be quitting school. There is a U.S. college on the island that it accredited in my program. I would transfer there and finish school. Still a bad idea? I dunno.

That's awesome that you guys met online. My boyfriend and I actually met on plenty of fish dot com, so I can definitely relate there! My boyfriend is on a destroyer and just deployed on Valentine's Day...although his deployment is almost a year, it's not as long as your's will be gone. I agree with the others on finishing school. Another thing I'd like to add...about your fears of things falling apart when you're in a different country - don't pick up and move your life across the country...much less across the world for a BOYFRIEND. He needs to realize the sacrifices you will be making by moving for him...and be ready to make a bigger commitment to you before you do that. My boyfriend and I have had this discussion because he is re-enlisting for 6 more years. He doesn't know yet if he will be able to stay in the same place or not...he won't know for over a year. He knows how I feel...that I would definitely want to stay with him, but that I won't pick up my life and move for a boyfriend. I actually found out that that was why my step-mom and dad got married when they did. I always kinda wondered why they were engaged after just 3 months of dating...my step-mom always said, "When you know, you know." She was my age, 23. I try to relate to it by thinking if one of my friends came to me saying they were engaged to a guy they started dating just 3 months before, what would be my reaction? Honestly, I'd think they were absolutely nuts! But my parents have been happily married now for almost 15 years...so I guess she's right...when you know, you know! She just recently told me that one of the biggest reasons they got engaged so soon was because they were in love, but lived far away from each other. She told my dad she would love to move in with him, but would not move so far away from where she was just for a boyfriend...so my dad changed that. :-)

Welcome : ) I am also in nursing school. I have 2 years left and will probably be in your shoes not to long from now. Honestly, finish school. Wait out the year. See what he has to say about the island and further fuel your relationship. Once you are out of nursing school, if you still decide you want to live with him, then certainly try. The great thing about nursing is you can do it anywhere hahah : ) we always need more nurses. Of course it will take some adapting and adjustment, every relationship hits bumps, but if you two are meant to be together, it will work out.

Hi, welcome to the group! While I haven't gone through deployments with my fiance, we have been together for over 5 years and have gone through some serious long-distance. A little background, me and my fiance met at the same community college, dated for 2 years and we went to different colleges which makes our relationship a long distance for the last 2 years of college. He was done with his bachelor's degree and then was assigned to go to abroad for a year in his previous job prior to joining the Navy. I had the same fear and not wanting to let go of my dreams at the time because I was in my last year of college and there was no way I would move with him and neglect my education. <br />
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That long distance was the foundation of our relationship even though it was SO hard, believe it or not. We had broken up during that 1 year where we were separated but we always came back to each other because we realized we were chasing after each other's image in other people we dated. <br />
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I wouldn't give up my schooling if I were you, you're so close to being done! I know it's going to be tough being separated from him but this is for you guys' future also. Talk about your fears with him and get a more serious tone with your sailor about your future together.<br />
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Yes we do get weird images and imagine the worst things in our head when it comes to long distance relationship or deployments but stay strong. If you guys' love is real then nothing will break you apart. I know some of the girls here have their boyfriends on deployments. Maybe they can share their stories and give you advices. As for me, I would say don't stress out too much over it, continue your study because it is for your own future, believe in you guys' relationship and show him your love as much as you can :)<br />
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btw I love your name, TheNurseandTheSailor. It's SO cute and no, I don't think meeting your sailor on eharmony.com is weird :))