My Boyfriend May Join Soon!

My boyfriend of two years has decided, nearly three months ago, to consider joining the Navy. At first, I wasn't really sure how I felt about it. I was raised on multiple Air Force bases for the first 18 years of my life, and swore to never allow the military to control my family again. I didn't want to be in the miltary, I didn't want to be a wife to the military, and I definitely didn't want any of my children to join, if I ever have any. But now, I am starting to view it in a completely different light.

After my boyfriend [we'll call him Liam] explained to me the reasons he wanted to join, I couldn't help but feel much more supportive, even excited. Liam told me that he is tired of working dead-end jobs, and that he doesn't feel like he provides enough stability for us as a couple, and wants to be able to provide that security before he marries me. And he wants to have children soon, but doesn't want to unless he can provide for them as well, and start saving for their future. He also wants to have a goal, or purpose, in his life because for the past couple of years, we've kind of just been working whatever job we can get, and barely making ends meet. He doesn't see the point in living like that and wants to make something better of himself so he can be a good husband and father.

He desperately wants to finish his degree, and allow me to finish mine as well. We both see that as a vital key to our future's success. The Navy would allow us to do that.

I am really interested in joining the AmeriCorps for two years so I can serve communities and earn the education award that would fund the remaining two years of my Teaching degree. The only catch is that the AmeriCorps requires full-time dedication, and a very small monthly stipend, so Liam would have to pay for mostly everything. The Navy would allow him to do that.

We both feel that it is a duty of every citizen to find their own way to contribute to their country, either through community service, teaching, becoming a representative, military service, or however best suits your life. We've also struggled with finding our way to give back, and it is blindingly obvious that the Navy would allow us both to do that.

I can't believe what a difference in opinion I've experienced. I've gone from complete refusal to unwavering support. And I am now more excited about life than I was a few months ago. I see a path to the future I've been yearning to create.

I'm feeling very optimistic today because we went as a couple to talk to the recruiter today. He was very welcoming, and honest. Liam took a practice test and nearly aced it, so the recruiter told us more about the advanced programs he qualified for. He told us that Liam could start the paperwork today, but we resigned to think about it for a couple of days. Excited as we both are, we still want time to think as it is not only a huge life change, but also a huge committment for an unknown amount of time. We have to really be sure we are ready and willing for this, otherwise the obstacles along the way will be much harder to overcome.


  • Just a few questions for others:

  • The recruiter told us he could send Liam to processing in a week, but we told him we'd like to postpone it for a month or two, and he didn't really seem too keen on that idea. Is it possible for us to do that? If we want to join, do we immediately have to go through the MEPS and processing, or can we wait before we sign anything?

  • He explained that the faster Liam gets to MEPS, the faster he can join, and we understand that, but we aren't really looking to rush the process. We aren't desperate for him to be in the Navy and receiving pay because I have a cush job right now. I definitely don't enjoy my job, and it is getting me no where, so I would like to be able to quit soon, but it is not a necessity. We want to take a couple of months and really mull all of this over. Is that discouraged?



dev0cean dev0cean
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 10, 2010

Hey there , I'm going through kinf your going though my boyfriend of a year in half just left to bootcamp april 20th just before my birthday which landed on the 26th. Its super hard knowing the fact that he's far away and u can't see or talk to him for a couple of months. But I'm getting through it because he writes me a letter every week. You just have to be patient because he will be very busy and will try to write you as much as much as he can. I'm here if u need. Anything or support :)

Hi! First off, I love your screen name, very cute! I'm really not familiar with the specific joining questions you posed at the end, but it sounds like you would be moving to where ever he was once he joins the Navy, right? If that is the case, I wouldn't worry about the process being so quick and conflicting with your job because he's first going to at least have to go through Basic, which you of course cannot join him for. Then there's other schooling he may go to, I'm honestly not familiar with these specific since I started dating my boyfriend when he was already 3 years into the military and we really haven't discussed all the stuff he went through while joining. Through all of this you would be best to stay where you live and keep the job you have. Once he gets his orders, in order for you guys to live together on the military base, you have to be married, us girlfriends get little to no support from the Navy because we're not considered actual 'family' that's something to consider as well.<br />
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Isn't it funny how us 'military brats' always swear off getting into a relationship with a military man, but yet it ALWAYS seems to happen anyhow?! My dad is retired Navy and I felt the same way you do - that I did not want to be with someone who was in the military and have it rule my life. Now look at us! You really can't help who you fall in love with. Now, the Navy is a reason why I love Thomas (my boyfriend). His dedication and ambition is amazing. I love that he takes pride in what he does, and he should...he's in a very difficult but rewarding profession. <br />
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In my opinion, the best thing you can tell your boyfriend is that you love him and will be their to support him with whatever path he takes. It's definitely easy being in either one of you guys' positions. The distance that you'll ensure SUCKS, but if your relationship is strong, you'll get through anything. :-)