I Miss Him Like Crazy.

We've both become a little more skilled at dealing with underways, but they never become easy. I've created new friendships in the time that he's been gone, thrown myself into work, going out whenever I'm invited, just to keep busy. Just so the loneliness doesn't sink it. But, it catches up with me. Every night I get into that empty bed, it's there. We're not married, yet. We'll be married in exactly 4 weeks. I know what I'm getting myself into. We've been dating for 8 years now, two of those years he's been serving as an officer. But, I'm still not used to it. I feel like I shouldn't still be crying every time he has to leave. No matter how long he'll be gone for this time. I just miss him. Even when I'm surrounded by friends, I still feel a little empty. It's then that I realize no matter who I hang out with or what I do, nothing can make me feel how I feel when I'm with him. Nothing can replace him.

Is there a point where you get used to this?
Optimystic85 Optimystic85
31-35, F
2 Responses Jul 29, 2010

Thank you for the congrats! It's amazing how similar we deal with the deployments. I find myself taking my calendar every Sunday to map out how I'll be spending the next week. Leaving as few empty days as possible. But, sometimes, that becomes expensive! I've also been trying to find the good in him being gone for a bit, for instance, we appreciate the time we have together so much more when he comes back, I get to eat whatever I want without having to consult with him about what's for dinner (he's kind of a picky eater, lol), and I get to spread out in bed... we'll actually I enjoy him being in bed with me much more than spreading out, lol. Like you, I would also think I'd be worried if I didn't miss him. Also, the closeness makes it much more difficult. But, you and I should embrace that, not every couple is fortunate enough to continue to grow closer over so many years :).

I've been with Dave for almost 4 years and although you have been with your fiance (congratulations by the way) a lot longer, I feel the same way that you do. I almost feel like it gets harder and I don't know if its because we are spending a lot more time together between deployments (when we first got together it was a month gone a month back, 2 weeks gone, 3 weeks back, etc.) and now its like 6 months together a month gone, or if its because we're closer and I love him more and more, or what, but its harder for me now than it was at the begining. I'm a lot like you tho, when Dave's gone, I throw myself into work and although most of the time I just want to stay at home and do nothing, I would go out whenever I was invited. The best thing for me was getting into routines. For example, the last West Pac, Mondays I walked around a lake with one of my friends and then we went for sushi. Every Wed and Fri I would go running after work with a co-worker and Tues and Thurs were my TiVo catch up nights. Its hard sometimes finding friends that can and will commit to the routine also (because usually they have a life :D), but just the routine helped me a lot. As much as the feeling of missing him sucks, I think I would be worried if it didn't bother me having him gone.