I Am a Navy Wife

Right Before Christmas

By: Andrewsgirl1

Written on December 18th, 2008

Hi my name is Lindsey and I am from Southern IL, I have been with my high school sweet heart for four years we have been married less than a year and now have a beautiful daughter. He has always wanted to joint he Navy, but his girlfriend before told him no, when he began asking me if I would be ok with it, I was thinking "ok, a new start for us, a new adventure" Well he went to St. Louis, and came home and told me he leaves for RTC on Dec 15th, so right before christmas, and our daughters first birthday. I was rather upset with that, but thought "ok, this is something he wants to do, I will be fine with it" Now that he has left I am realizing that I dont think I am strong enough to do this, I know that RTC and A-School is only four months and I know that I will have to be without him for a much longer wants we get stationed, but we have been together and have lived together for a long time and I am having a lot of trouble being on my own. He has only been gone for almost a week, but I now see how much of our everyday lives he was a part of. But I figure if we can get throught this then maybe it will make the times he is gone in the future easier, but it is rough. I am so glad I found a group of other wives going through the same thing, I think it will help. People keep asking me if I am ok, and I understand they are just trying tohelp but it only makes things harder on me, I know I have to be strong for our daughter and for him, but it is rough. Well thanks for listening to my sob story, and I hope to here back from some of you.

By: Andrewsgirl1

Age: 18-21 , Female

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10 responses

ssmissinhim

I know the loneliness. My husband and i were only married 3 days before he left for Iraq for a 6 month term. It's been emotionally draining!

Apr 15, 2009
1 like
jlfarrar

I am sorry to hear that your daughter is sick. I have two kids myself and their Dad has been gone since Nov 9th. Even though they don't come out and say they miss him, their actions tell me otherwise. My son becomes more clingy (he is 8) and my daughter becomes more emotional (she is 9) and they fight like crazy! At times I just don't know what is wrong with them but then it dawns on me that this separation affects all of us in different ways. Christmas was quiet with just the kids and I as my husband is still doing something, somewhere in the Navy. Like you, I have many friends asking me all the time if I am ok and if the kids are ok. But sometimes I just want to throw a tantrum, scream, yell and kick something but, like you said, we have to be strong for our kids. The Navy is a different lifestyle. I find that keeping busy with the kids and with my own interest helps pass the time. Are you interested in taking any college courses? The Navy has a few really great school programs for spouses. I am taking a few courses just for fun since the Navy pays for most of it and I am also doing a Karate class with the kids to help us with this separation. Anyway, good luck with your adventure and you are in the right spot to find others who can relate to you and understand what you are going through. Have Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and I hope your husband calls you soon.

Dec 26, 2008
1 like
Andrewsgirl1

Well, it has been rough and I am hating it. Our daughter is now sick and the Dr. seems to think it is because she is missing her dad. Which just breaks my heart, and we were supposed to hear from him yesterday (on christmas) but he never called. I dont understand that at all it is Christmas day and we are here without him a phone call should have at least been aloud! Well I know that I am just venting and to get used to that but it is still rough. But I know I have to be strong not just for our family but for my daughter as well

Dec 26, 2008
1 like
jadoremonsailor

hi,

my fiance just got out of RTC and is now in A school in great lakes. RTC was one of the toughest things that we have had to deal with in our relationship. when he left i cried for days!! im still a senior in high school and its really tough to focus on my school work, preparing for college and dealing with him being away. i mean i have friends that i talk to about it and they are sympathetic and i know they mean the best but its just not enough to say they are sorry and not to worry because he will be home soon. they have their boyfriends here and they are able to see them everyday and do things as simple as pick up the phone and call them whenever just to talk. i miss that freedom. i didnt know quite what to expect when he told me last spring that he joined the navy but i found out quick when he went to RTC on october 7th. he graduated on december 5th and i went with his family up to great lakes for the ceremony. i cried like a baby when we left but he did get leave for christmas and is home now which is more than a blessing. he goes back on the 3rd of january and will not be able to return until april. we decided not to tell our parents about the engagement because we both know their reactions will be negative. i dont think i want both our parents giving us the speech about how we are too young. i know i am young but i also know that he is someone i want to be with and i want to have stand by me. its just really hard. i have no one to talk to about the troubles navy wifes face because i dont really know anyone in the navy. im really worried about what we will have to face so if anyone could offer and advice or support it would be well appretiated. im really scared and nervous about it all and have no one to talk to about it so im really looking for someone who understands what im going through. thanks so much and God bless!

Dec 25, 2008
1 like
Andrewsgirl1

Ya, I am looking forward to the homecoming. And no we dont kno yet where we will be going, its kind of excited

Dec 22, 2008
1 like
sothisisme

yep it is hard at first , but then you will get into a routine and it will get better like you said... plus the navy could be a very good thing for the both of you... he is following a dream and this could make you a tougher person as well... i know its made me one.

message me anytime if you need to talk

Dec 22, 2008
1 like
EN1Wife

As you migh have read...my husband left for deployment on the 9th of this month and this is not the first christmas I have spent alone. I hate to tell you it does not get easer but the time apart makes both of you relish the time that you have together. You will get through it and did I mention the homecoming is so worth it :). Don't dwell on the things that you can't change but instead think about the things that you would like to do together when he gets back. Do you know yet what station he will be going to after he gets out of A-school?

Dec 22, 2008
1 like
Andrewsgirl1

Thank you, and I am noticing that as the days go by it gets a little eaier. Thank you for the support it is kind of hard for me to find any one who knows what I am up against, and it is nice to know that there is friends I can talk to

Dec 19, 2008
1 like
michellemtjpjt

ALSO I LOVE YR PROFILE PHOTO

Dec 18, 2008
1 like
michellemtjpjt

YEA IT IS HARD BUT I KNOW WHAT U R GOING THROUGH IT GETS EASIER ON SOME DAYS BUT ALL U HAVE TO DO IS KEEP YR SELF BUSY N U WILL C HOW FAST TIME GOES BY:) ALSO IF U NEED GREAT PEOPLE TO TALK TO YR EP FRIENDS R HERE TO B HERE FOR U:)

Dec 18, 2008
1 like

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