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New To All Of This

So, my husband and I just recently got married but have been together for 4 years. He is my high school sweetheart and we have never really spent that much time away from each other. Ever since Ive known him he has wanted to join some branch of the military and over the summer he decided on the navy. He leaves for boot on tuesday   and I am very scared and nervous. I dont really know what to expect and there arent many people around that I know that have been through this. I am very supportive of him and couldnt be prouder of him im just very sad to see him go. especially since he will be missing thanksgiving, my birthday, and halloween. The recruiters said that he would be able to graduate early from boot so that way he can come home for christmas but im not so sure i believe them. How should I deal with him not around?  I have my family and friends here to help me but its not the same as him being here. Any suggestions?

kjnavy22 kjnavy22 18-21, F 7 Responses Oct 24, 2009

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hey my name is michelle n I am a navy wife for the last three yrs what i do is keep busy busy busy. My husband is on on his second deployment in three yrs. So i will not see him for 8 moths but i lov that man n if u just keep yrself occupied n meet new people u will b oh k. :)

bbygrlcinderella.... hopefully they do graduate together! Is your husband going straight to A school after he graduates? and if so, will it be in Damneck (virginia beach)? Thats where Josh is going and it would amazing to actually know someone when we get there :)

aloneinhawaii...i called DH's recruiter for his official address,ship# and div# that's why im trying to find someone who may go tograd the same week as me...thanks :)

my bad it was for kj...trying to figure out if our hubby's may grad together in DEC

Sorry, is that question directed at kjnavy or me? If your husband is in boot, does he already have an assignment for his ship? Thought they didn't learn that before boot. Either way, good luck with him getting home soon and safe.

Hey girly! our hubby's should've gotten there the same day...only mine left wednesday last week! what ship and division is he in? maybe they're together?? And im hoping the same thing with the holidays just praying they push him out early and not hold him back :)

I think it is important to remember everyone deals with separation differently. For me, I have to keep in mind that it is ok to feel sad, and ok to cry. Ironically, when I deny or ignor those feelings, that triggers a downward spiral of guilt (because I'm not as 'strong' as a Navy wife is 'supposed to be') and guilt leads to depression. Letting myself feel sad and cry when I need to is healthier, and more positive for me in the long run, than ignoring those feelings.



I know it doesn't work that way for everyone. Someone else might tell you the exact opposite... to do whatever you can to keep your spirits up and not to cry at all. Just know that it's ok to feel however you feel. If you feel happy because it's a beautiful day, that's great... you don't have to be miserable to prove you miss him. And if you do feel miserable, that's ok too.



Besides that, keeping busy is the best advice you'll hear. It makes the time go by faster, even if that doesn't feel possible right now. For me, work keeps me sane, and prevents me from crying all day, every day. Having other people depend on me forces me to get out of bed, even when I am really depressed. When I am tempted to pull the sheet back over my head (and try to sleep my way through the time until he comes home), knowing someone else is waiting on me really gets me motivated. It could be work, a friend at the gym, or volunteering, or taking classes (Red Cross, non-credit at a community college, art, online).



I don't know if that helps or not. For me, it took a long time to recognize that even though I feel very, acutely alone and lonely, when my husband is out to sea, I'm not. Even at times when it is a challenge for me to connect with other wives attached to the same ship, I can still find a friendly ear here.