New On Base -- Awfully Lonely.

I'm a newly wed, and my husband is a PR in California. I just moved out here a couple weeks ago, and I'm having the hardest time adjusting. I'm trying really hard to make this marriage work & not drive him crazy, but it's hard when it's been almost a month, and he's still really the only person I know. I don't have a car, and finding a job has been less than successful to say the least. I'm trapped on this base all day.. everyday. I've been so depressed lately because it's hard, but I've been doing really good at understanding his needs for "alone time" & his hobbies... but I don't have any... which is beyond pathetic.. I know. I use to do things back at home 2500+ miles away but now it's just... I can't think of anything. For instance, he just got switched to nights so now we have the day together and than he just left, and he'll be gone until 12- 1 am. I don't really know what I'm suppose to do all night, and I don't really have cell service here so it's not like I can call a friend from home or anything.

I don't want to solely depend on him for happiness, like I've been doing, because I know that's really bad for the marriage && it freaks guys out.. that's a lot of pressure. But I really just.. I don't know what to do. There's really nothing on base I can do besides scrub the house clean... which I do do all day && keep begging everyone for a job. But I'm starting to go crazy, and it's only been a month!! I start fights with him over stupid things, I'm so needy & I hate it.. it's disgusting. I've always been really independent & self relient but since I moved here... it's like I've become the completely opposite! Does anyone have any advice or can at least relate ?

altruism1o1 altruism1o1
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 15, 2010

check out Sarah Smileys stories online if you can..or pick up her book at a shop, it really helps to know that there are lots of us out here that are sometimes lonely, and generally frustrated with trying to make a new life and get by without friends or support besides our man. but we are here for you too, so get on the chat and also check out the local fleet and family services if you need help.

Treat him the way you want to be treated...and by all means find a hobby - grow some flowers, start an exercise routine, learn to play music, take up sewing or just donate your time to a local business til they realize they cant live with out you:D Also tell him that you are aware of how you have been acting and explain to him why you have been acting strange and apologize to him and tell him you love him and youre sorry and that youre working on a resolve:D