I Am More Accepting Of It Now But Still Hide It.

I think I don't look like the stereotypical nerd but I love acting like one. I am in my 40's and I still haven't let my true nerdness come out. LOL. Sometimes I like talking about geeky stuff like computers and technology with a person I work with but try not to get too deep when others are listening to us. There are a few times that I let loose but far and in between.
I used to play the violin up until 10th grade, but quit because it wasn't cool. (Plus I wasn't that good)
Growing up in high school, for the most part science and math came easy for me but I tried to act cool and did things like drugs to make people think I was not a nerd. Sometimes I hide my intelligence. Not like I'm a genius or anything but I like nerdy stuff like science and computers and such. Some people used to trip out on how such a smart guy like me could do drugs and hang with the druggies.
(By the way, my children have no idea on my former drug use and my family never knew about that side of my life and I hope to keep it that way)
Now I see my boys and girls have some part of my nerdness but I feel they don't accept. it
Especially my youngest who is going to be in fifth. Smart kid and talks like a nerd too. I love him so much. I want him growing up accepting his nerdness. Know what I mean?
One thing I don't like is people who are smart and want to show everyone how smart they are. Those are the bad nerds that give us good nerds a bad rap.
Sincerely Nerd undercover at times.
Jeusislife Jeusislife 41-45, M 3 Responses Jul 22, 2012

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me too i am in 7th grade but i mean i tell my true friend about me being a nerd but i try to hide it but i cant not all the time

Needing to be undercover is a pain.

Yes it is but I've been learning to open up more and it feels so good when I do.

I neither like people noticing my intelligence or bragging around it. Not because I dont like being smart but because I dislike people having a highest concept of me that what I am specially when my intelligence make them shy or scared of thinking they are not enough for me ... I think every person has the capacity of achieving any type of intelligence or at least wisdom and having me as the highest do not let them to grow so I try to hide it so people can realize that they can think smartly by themselves excelling their impression of themselves.. I like ur story!

I never thought it that way but you are right when you say that someone's intelligence can affect how people relate to one another. Looking back at myself, I at times have been intimidated at someone's expertise at a certain subject. Almost made me feel like I knew nothing. Instead of opening up to them I would close up so that they wouldn't know how dumb I was. Good stuff Verrycocktail.

Really? well there is always time to reflect on new things..:)))! It used to happen to me too... being scared of the expertise of my professors for example but since I realize even they have some advantage by the experience than me they do not know a lot of things I know because even I am just a student i have had experience of life that had self -taught me and they do not know this or in other subjects they had not been in contact with for the moment... ahahahahaha as technology for example and that doesnt make them dumb.... Also I realized that that is why I am in college for.. because i do not know all... they too were students before turn into specialists.... they too had to make the same questions to reach their knowledge... they had to be askers and bold to get as know-all as they are now.. so if I am a perso really smart and I do not know something the smartest I can do is asking would be very silly from my part passing ignorant for not dear to everytime I see a professor is toooo high to my knowledge I spend all my efforts creating questions exhaustively that will make me have in a semester part of the knowledge they have got in a lifetime...ahahhahahahahaha by the time the course is over I know that I know as they possibly did at my age because I have explode their experience to increase mine... I dont do that because I like to abuse of my professors but because My professors has spent lot of time educating themselves precisely to have fruits in others and because I know that my question can be the question of another Ahahahahaha of course i ask till I dont see that I am looking too much smart otherwise I will shut up or will look further by myself in google research..:))) .. or I make the questions to my classmates so they will ask our professor!