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I Am a New Army Wife

What Is He Thinking?

By: vickigarcia
Written on January 25th, 2009

I just married my hero in December when he came home on R&R. Since he has been back to Afghanistan he has done what I affectly call the BI-POLAR flip outs on me. We Im and talk on the phone as much as we can. There are days that he is just a complete creep to me for no reason. He will even tell me that he isn't in the mood for the lovey dovey crap when I tell him I miss him and can't wait for him to get home during our chats on the computer, But then he'll find the time to call me and will tell me how much he loves me and misses and that he can't wait to come home!

He never did the Bi-polar thing to me before he came home on R&R, and we got married.

I am the only one that is experiencing this type of "behavior" ?I am so new to the whole deployment thing and what must be going through his head being over there.

I try to be patient and understanding, I couldn't imagine what he is going through over there and not knowing what is going on at home all the time. HOW DO I COPE? WHAT DO I DO?

He will be home in June which really isn't that far away. I know once he is home things will be way different, but what do I do for the next 4 1/2 months? any suggestions? Anybody else experiencing this with htier hubby?

 

 

By: vickigarcia
Age: 31-35 , Female
378 people have read this story

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9 responses
  • zil620
    zil620

    I understand completely. My boyfriend is just like that. he spent the fall mobilizing. I talked to him regularly and he always said he loved me and missed me and couldn't wait for R&R to see me. And since he's left, he's given me the cold shoulder. I keep telling myself it's just how he's dealing with the deployment. Now that he's in Iraq, I rarely get to talk to him or even IM him. The few times we have connected online, he no longer says goodbye, or that he loves me or misses me. It's so frustrating. but he'll post something on my facebook saying he loves me or misses me. And he consistently pokes me everyday. So I know he's thinking about me. Its just hard - I have another 8 months to go. I'm hoping this "bi-polar" thing goes away. I don't know how I'll deal with 8 more months of it!

    Feb 22, 2009
    1 like
  • NaelovesherArmyhusband
    NaelovesherArmyhusband

    You sound just like me. If I have a friend over while I'm on the phone with him, they are like, "why do you put up with that?!?!".

    How do you explain that to someone who seriously has no clue what it's like to be a military spouse? I'm definitely not a pushover. The emotional sacrifices we make are out of love and understanding. And maybe I need to learn how to not be so sensitive. :)

    Feb 4, 2009
    1 like
  • vickigarcia
    vickigarcia

    That's what drives me crazy.....I know what he needs to stay focused on, and doesn't need me whining about YOU didn't say I love you...... I know he loves me, and can't wait to get home either, and I do my best to lust listen and"tolereate" his mood swings...

    Feb 4, 2009
    1 like
  • NaelovesherArmyhusband
    NaelovesherArmyhusband

    I agree with Yourstruly... but goodness, does it ever suck. I try to be understanding about the fact that I know he NEEDS to focus more than I do. But that doesn't keep it from hurting, or being completely frustrating.

    Feb 4, 2009
    1 like
  • YourstrulyLB
    YourstrulyLB

    Hey I know exactly what your going through. It was explained to me awhile back from an older army wife that they want to stay focused and as soon as they begin to focus on missing you and family it makes the time harder for them. Its hard situation. you just kinda have to be very submissive and a listener.

    Jan 30, 2009
    2 likes
  • vickigarcia
    vickigarcia

    and when you do I AM HERE! AND THANK YOU!!!!!!

    Jan 28, 2009
    1 like
  • justinalinee
    justinalinee

    Hey girl! I also have not been through this yet, but imagine it's common. I am sure he misses you ALL the time, but has trouble expressing that with everything he sees and goes through for his job. Hang in there, and I am also hear to listen. God knows I'll need it eventually too!

    Jan 28, 2009
    1 like
  • vickigarcia
    vickigarcia

    Thank you so much! I need to be able to talk to others that will at least listen!

    Jan 26, 2009
    1 like
  • Rmk
    Rmk

    awh well i havnt went through anything like this yet because my boy hasnt left yet but im here to talk to and im willing to listen. i hope you feel better babe.

    Jan 26, 2009
    1 like