Confused And Need A New Life .........

hi all i'm new to this and not shure where to start really ...... well i'm 30 have a daughter been married for 7yrs this year together for 8yrs when i first got with my hub i was in a womans refuge as my then partner beat me around for the best part of 4 years anyway i found it easy escaping the beating tht he gave me than i feel now . basic story .............. my mother in law sold her house bak in 06 and gave my husband 23 thousand to help us out of debt which we done also moved house got a car esc but with bigger house came more bills my hub then decided he wanted to spend more on the car then anythin so gave me his bank card told me so sort everthin out and he never wanted to deal with anythin so i tried to look after house bills daughter interfering mother in law nosey neighbours ect so as the debt became bigger i secretly asked my dad for help with rent as hub by this this time had spent 15thou on a £2000 car hugh........ so my day was helping me as much as he could i was walking round woth holes in my clothing an he was in top name clothes wanting take outs ect by this time i had put on allot of weight as food became my only friend.i put up with him always gong mad at me about how fat i am how i had to give him sex when and how he wanted,anyway i secrctly went on facebook so i could find people who i hadent spoke to in years and when he was at work apart from worrying about bills fb became my little escape from my life anyway away from fb i became friends with a baliff that had been after money and my hub never knew i ha baliffs at the door but me and this guy did become close and he would take me out in the day to diff places i started to have a bit of confidence back i felt good and i did start havin a affair with him which i do not regret at all and never will it lasted a year an a half and was brill in this time my husband was getting down so much i cried myself to sleep most nites i wasent allowed to speak to my family or friends so i had a secret phone hidden so i could keep intouch with my mom an dad ect anyway one nite he found the phone anf he went nuts at me grabbed be by the nect punched me in the head infrount of our 4 yr old he had hit me b4 when i told him to try not to spent so much money as we has none and he kicked off but carried on spending anyhow after the finding the phone nite the day after i phoned my mate who came over helped me pack and i went to her house for the nite and he came back from work to find a note saying goodbye anyway as i was in cornwall and my fam was in birmingham my mom had arranged for me to go up hers and sent someone to fetch me an my daughter i never contacted him for 6months had my own house had my family and friends around me i went from a size 24 to a 16 and felt fab i done what i wanted and how i wanted and i also had starte a relationship with a old friend and me and him were brill we laughed cried joked around had fun stayed up all nite just talikng total opisite to hub and i fel deep in love altho i never told him this but he knew and i know he felt the same i contacted hub after 6months because of out daughter and i took her to see him and in the weeks following i found myself like a idiot falling in his trap and 2months later i moved back to cornwall with hub cut everyone off at his request and now 2yrs on i have put on weight back to 20s have no family contact or freinds not allowed on fb live in a caravan and thats only for 10months the year the other 2 well homeless and i have had to do everythin his way he runs my family down slags me off for getting into another relationship when we were seprated goes on about how i left him all the time and i have put myself back in sqare one ten times worse apperently i should feel sorry for him for what i put him through if we argue i have to shut up an just agree with everything and i did love him years ago but i honastly have no love left for him one little bit i dont care about him at all i secretly laugh when he hurts himself he has even stopped work so he can watch my every move all day i only get sat to myself he is even that petty that when my mom an dad sent me a ipod for my 30th as i live for music he has evn said that i should feel bad that he hasent had anything from them and i should never speak to them again after that stunt ha ha prat all i feel for him is hate he is nothing but a small evil no good idiot who has no life and is sad i just whish i had devorced him 2years ago because i cant forget about the 6months of freedom i had and i am still inove with the guy i went with in that time even though i dont have contact with him now . the only good thing is my daughter is happly settled with mommy and daddy but he dont do anthing with her of for her if she cries its me who she goes to if she needs help its me she never goes to him for anything not even a hug so how do i say goodbye to my so called husband now ? i dont want my life like this i want to back in brum being me :) sorry this is so long i just have no one to talk to anymore and this will from now on be my only escape :) x x
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3 Responses May 12, 2012

i really feel for you and my heart sank god bless you
i am from birmingham and in the same sort of
position as you but i can't do anything about it
its not just women that are abused i know

Get out of that toxic relationship!

Well its your life! Own it!

This is such a sad stoy. I am in the US and don't anything about your laws, but I think you should get a lawyer to get leagal advice.

Yes it is true that hind sight is 20-20, but we can't change what has already happened. We can only learn from our mistakes, and move forward. I would be happy to lend any kind of support that I can