I Want To Break All Of My Fingers

I get so angry I want to break all of my fingers sometimes, Just to distract me for a few minutes. I bend them back so far when I can't sleep. I don't sleep much. Usually.

But sometimes I'll sleep for days. I don't move from my bed; I'm overwhelmed that if I move I will die or someone I love will die. I'm so scared I'll stay in bed and only leave to use the restroom but after a few days I barely need that. And then I get very thin and sick and throw up and pass out. But mostly I sleep.

But sometimes I can't sleep for days or weeks. I feel electric and most things are good. It feels like I am on cocaine and I forget to sleep or eat but I am happy. Ed usually talks to me then.

Ed came out of the static radio I use to hear in the next room that never existed. He talked to me sometimes but I didn't know who it was. I know his name is Ed and he is around 35. He only speak in one line sentences and they are usually observations around me, rather dry ("I see that girl," or "It's all a mess") but lately he tells me what to do. Not angry, just matter-of fact-Ed. When I was layng in bed he said "Get up or your Mom will be dissapointed in you." I like Ed well enough.

And more rarely I hear Abby. She always tells me what not to do or think. "Don't think those thoughts." she'll say when I feel sad or violent. She is about 12.

I think both her and Ed are ghosts who are trying to communicate with me. My Mom agrees.

But sometimes I don't hear them or see things at all. So I'm not crazy. IDoes anyone else sane experince angels and ghosts?
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 17, 2013