Love and Loss

My Story is one you could have heard before.  it was a week after the twin towers in New York went down and I was in my apartment alone.  I was on line downloading music and chating with my neice who was around 15 or so and she was chatin with what was to become my love of my life and someone I spent 8 wonderfull years with.  I married her 3 years ago and she and i have lots of problems with our bodies.  I have back and feet and eye problems and Stacey had heart problems.


     Stacey Died oct 27,2008 at the foot of our bed.  She was standing up getting dressed to go to see her heart doctor and I was down stairs feeding our pet birdies, when all of a sudden i hear her screaming.  I ran upstairs and she looked at me and she looked really bad.

     I called 911 to get an amblance and she sat down on the floor and she held my hand and just looked at me.  A few seconds later she let my hand go and she laid down on the floor and started to spit up things and turning blue.  I tryed cpr till the police and the rescue came but I couldn't save her.

     she was worked on over an hour in the emergencey room but they couldn't save her.  I'm totally destroid and I'm trying to go on.

    I love her so much and I miss her and this house and my life is so empty without her


LoveStacey LoveStacey
36-40, M
96 Responses Nov 3, 2008

Realistically she could be in 3 places. Heaven, purgatory or hell. It depended on her actions of free will. She can be prayed for to get to heaven from purgatory faster.

I'm sorry for your loss. the death of a loved one is something that will take a long time to heal from ...please take heart in to what ever faith you believe in during times of loss whatever your religion or spirituality may be please please find comfort in it. and try not to listen to the insensitive ******** here they suffer from a condition known as needy ***** syndrome and they do,it because they are alone and no one will love them the way you loved your partner. and if you are wondering no...I'm not a Christian I am a Pagan. my blessings and prayers go to you for your healing and emotional recovery and to her soul that she may find peace and health in her next life.

so sorry

I'm sorry this happened. Death is never good. You could try filling your life with something else, something bette. Here, read this, it might make you feel better:

Sucks for you, don't beat yourself up over it, find some better *****.

*facepalm* Insensitive dumbass.

Cherish the wonderful moments you shared with her. She will always be with you. Talk to her when you're alone. Tell her how you feel. I believe she's listening to you. Let yourself heal because she would want you to be happy. She would want you to live life to the fullest. Good luck and I will pray for you.

Christians, *Sigh*

Just because you pray doesn't mean you're a Christian. Nothing wrong with bringing love into the world.


Dont comment on this, if you want to be a dickhead

Couldnt of said it any better myself mate

Is that supposed to threaten me?

3 More Responses

My sympathies for your loss. Love is such a great thing that the loss of it seems to be the greatest challenge in life. I'd like to offer the thought that in the moments when you feel worst, try to think of her and express your thoughts to her; hopefully, you will sense she understands and you will be able to breathe deeply (or smile with a memory) and perhaps find yourself moving on to the next moment. If you never stop trying, you keep her and memories of her in a good place for the both of you.

That's a really heavy loss! I hope moving on and time makes living easier for you! Take care...

sorry for your lost only time can heal hurt i lost 7 family members now my husband on march 8 2012 i know the pain u feel

Omg my heart goes out to you. Just remember what yous both had and smile at those memorus. Shel always be by your side and i dont think she would want to see you upset and unhappy. God bless yoou :)

The hardest part of life sometimes is realizing we have to go on - even though we might hurt, might be sad, or be grief stricken. No words can take away your pain, but, appreciate what you have had. I invite you to join life for the here and now and become an involved person in life again. Remember what you have lost with sadness and appreciate but make sure you have moved on. You have something to offer someone - don't forget that! Hang in there - people do care even though they may not show it! My heart goes out to you! Take care. <br />

im ssoooo sorry! i havent experienced death but i cant even imagine your pain

My heart goes out to you friend. such terrible pain and no one else can ease it. God give you strength, comfort and peace in your heart. It's such a wonderful thing when two people love each other the way you did. Love will never cease.

I'm Sure she was the light of your life. ( it sure sounds like it). Just know she is watching over you and praying for you each and every day! she wants you to find happiness in your life on earth and i know she wants you to find someone who wjp sjares the same beliefs as you. God Bless!

Correction: "Who shares" the same beliefs as you


i too lost alot of family members in a short time 5 infact . nana went first that wasnt so bad. <br />
my brother hung himself, my mum died of a broken heart , then two years later, my two nephews aged 2 and 3 burnt to death . how i get though it , i dont think about them much or try not to . when i do i believe they are all togerther round the lords table having a ball. so sorry debra

If what you are saying is guilt at marrying your neice, my dauhte is marrying my stepson

What are you talking about. Maybe you got on the wrong page dear.

hi my name is diane moss ,welcome all new joiners you will really like this ,site i hav'nt been on here the last few month's ,i had to get me a new internet service,so again welcome and enjoy i love to write ,so this is a perfect web-site for me cause i love trying to help someone,and try to let them know we all come from the same ,walk of life and we all from the same circle......welcome dianemoss.

hi my heart goes out to you, the same way with my mom,me and my friend was talking to my mother on the phone ,then i said mama she never answer then my neice was walking through the house ,heard me screaming on the phone ,she said hello i said to her what is wrong with mama ,she then started to say grama grama ,then she start screaming i knew then something was wrong ,my brother ran in the living rm where she was sitting @ all the time they call 911 ,but thank god the paramedics revived her ,rush her to mountsiania hsp.where they kept her.but make a long story short ,my mother pass away dec,26 2002 so i fill you but she want you to remember all the goood times god call her home ,nothing you can do but hold on to the good memeories ,what yall shared together, she or he love's you remember that, bless's gone be ok hold on to god's unchanging hands's ........amen.

I am new to this site & just read your story, my youngest daughter had the same experience with the love of her life, he too had heart problems, he came home from work on 1/21//09 hollered for her as she ran to him he died in her arms, it was their 9 year anniversary! We all loved our sweet Adam, so we understand your pain, May God Bless you, and let me please say this "love NEVER dies"....

honey, it is a hard road, but if you allow it, you WILL rcover.<br />
you had the peace of being loved at the end. <br />
<br />
That may not not sound like a great "trade off"<br />
let me share =my story<br />
<br />
I was divorced. I had a 5 yr old daughter abd a 2 yr olf son<br />
we met, we dated, he met my children and they liked him<br />
we got maried <br />
one week before our 5th anniversary<br />
I got a call at work, from the police<br />
my husband ( who I had taught Sunday school with)<br />
had been accused of sexualy molesting my 12 yr old daughter <br />
..... for 5 years prior to that. She was 7 years old and I never knew<br />
I also have a son who was 9 at the time of the divorce.<br />
we all made it through. there were issues, a lot of them. but we are all still here, and we are all still looking for tomorrow. <br />
How can you ask for more?rI admit, there are days when i ask Gof to please take me from this horible , dragging on life. And when he doesnt, itmeans that I am not done here.

that is a heartbreaking story...

lovestacy i want you to know i can identify with your loss , but i want you to thing on all the good thing and fun time that you had with her wild she was here on the earth . that's where you look , and see the good out of this . remmember God has a time and a season for all of use to be on the earth in this body and he gives life and he is the only one that can take it away . remmember she heard you calling her to come back but she heard another voice saying come my daughter and i will give you rest and eternal and peace.

I know its hard losing some one the way you did and whats hard for me is knowing I am losing some one to breast cancer, no matter how you lose some one and how much it really hurts

I read your experience. I have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I feel so sad for you. My heart goes out to you in every way. I wish I could shelter some of your pain for you. Some people will say, "Oh in time you will get over it." <br />
<br />
But you know what? <br />
<br />
This type of experience is something that stays with us forever and a day. That feeling of helplessness is so truly difficult to overcome. <br />
<br />
I am sorry you had to experience such a heart wrenching event. Take care.

How precious to have been loved and shared time with the one you love. How sad that it was such a short time. I have lost a few deeply loved ones, and it takes time to be able to celebrate their lives without constant pain. But that is what you must do; celebrate her life. What a lovely place to share your favourite memories, and introduce others to her very special qualities. I wish you peace and acceptance of what is, and joy and happiness as you remember the good times and wnderful things about your life with her. Be blessed x

I am so sorry for your loss . . . it's really sad to lose someone you love soo much, but i sincerely hope that you'll be able to recover and heal from this and i know it's only time that can do that. <br />
<br />
Of course, she'll ALWAYS be in your heart that's for sure, but at the same time try to go on with your life and find comfort in knowing that she's in Heaven and in a good place, at peace. <br />
I just lost my mom six mos. ago, while i was away in Germany, and although it's not the same, i'm still grieving for her, but i do find that prayer helps, so you could try that, and also know that in time the sting of the loss will lessen, and i also agree with others that she would want you to go on with your life and feel happy again -you deserve that too. I wish you well, take good care, and feel free to talk anytime.

i am so sorry. i know its not much but its all i can provide, for i am only 13. again, i am SO sorry ):

You hate to beleive that the love of your life has gone. the only hope and wiah you have is that she isn't suffering any more. As long as she is in your thoughts and heart, she will always live within you.<br />
In spriit I know that she wants you to be happy and live on. The love you two shared is powerful, never let that dim

I am so sorry for your loss. I almost lost my brother due to him being hit by a drunk driver. Even though I had this experience I cannot begin to imagine the pain and sorrow you must be going through. I'm sorry.

Oh may God bless and comfort you and I truly pray you listen to him while you try to carry on - God is always there and ready to assist you even tho there are many times you don't feel Him. I have lost<br />
quite a few loved ones and while I say I get along now I know I'm not the same. You'll never forget - that's your tribute - but the pain does get better . It takes time. It takes knowing that you have many who care and a lot more than you think.You've been thru a lot and so I ask you to always know God knows what He's doing and that He loves you dearly. Some things are hard to hear and do when you're hurting so bad but I promise you (God did it for me) it will get easier. I'm so sorry.

What does one say, I know that kind of pain. My husband die of a heart attect too. We were married for 22 yrs. and there not a day goes by I don't thank about him. Being in the same city were we lived together. This one thing I can say for me, I have God in my life then and now and the word of God helps me go on,I also believe I will see him and mom, dad, and family again in heaven. This has help me go on for the past 11yrs. I will keep you in my prayers. much love a new friend

Awww my tears fill the river of sorrow for you. May you find peace within ..I can"t imagine the memories that hurt you....I hope you find peace. You can never get over that kind of loss. We just find a place to store it with in ourselves . I wish you the best .Sending A warm hug for your heart..

I hope that you will find a new love one day .Because this is life we all will die soon or later and we cant stop moving and keep looking behind , we should continue our life with hope and remember .to......make the most of life as you may . life is short and tears away .

I feel sorry 4 u bt u jus have 2 pray 4 her...i cn imagn losing the person u loved the most t hurts so badly bt sadness flie on the wings of time...!dat god will....there z many chalenges in life al we need 2 do is jus dat 2 BE STRONG ANYTHN HAPEN 4 A REASON!

I am sorry for your loss, if you need to talk I will be glad to listen.

I hope things are a little better for you now. It took two years for me to get a grip after seeing my younger brother die back in 99'. The pain and sense of loss is still there (11 years later), but one eventually copes. 'Cope" is the key word. Very sorry for your loss. May all that is good bestow healing and happiness upon you. Sincerly, Zhafar

as "letters" said,i as well,cannot begin to imagine the depth of your pain.i also have an absolute love for my wife who is thankfully still with me after more than 30yrs.though i'm sure it isn't near enough,try to think of when you and she first met and the things you did together before all the hard times began.<br />
think of the younger years when she and you were full of life and fun.again,i'm so very sorry for the absolute loss you must feel.know that there are people who feel for you.

I feel sad for you, I think it should make us all greatful for our loved ones every day we are with them. I will pray for you

We all think life is hard until your hear about are hardship as tough as yours. My deepest sympathy goes out to you. How long has it been since she passed away?

I am really sorry for u. but you must go on as the life will not stop and that was the god will and we can't do any thing.

So sorry that your heart is still so very very heavy.<br />
It is not true what they say about TIME. Time does NOT magically heal you, but it can ease your pain by throwing in other things that take up your thought process.<br />
I lost my beautiful baby girl 12 years ago and I still go to her grave every holiday, every birthday, valentine, christmas.....<br />
One day the pain will ease up a bit but just remember, We all express our grief in various ways. <br />
Its ok to still miss her!

I have had a similar incidence, and the only way I get through each day, is I have come to believe in heaven and God, and have learned that in the Holy Bible Acts 16:31 Says “BELIEVE ON THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND YOU WILL BE SAVED, ALONG WITH YOUR ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD" which simply means that if you believe that verse and confess it with your heart and mouth, when your time comes to leave this world, you can be with Stacey for eternity, what a fantastic promise...PLEASE CONSIDER THIS, and may God Bless You.

i hope life treats you better as time goes on losing someone you love very much is very hard to except. and every day can be a struggle you know life is to go forward if only baby steps at a time but eventually youll take steps further into your future and it can take a long time its hard to be in someone elses shoes all i can do is help you along your path to some happiness and future love whom you might meet one day and never feel guilty because you try to help your loved one maybe the angels wanted her for a reason who knows you have surpport with us here in ep. and remeber you have friends here god bless and may love find your path and dreams and future. bye for now zophia;

Losing a loved one is the hardest thing in the world to endure. There are no words of comfort. It's feels like a part of you is missing, and the hole hurts so bad. You really will start living again, though. You'll never forget or stop missing her, but you will laugh again.

I understand what you are feeling and I wish I had the magic answer. I lost my husband of 25 years on August 23rd. He was diagnosed with a belly full of cancer, probably started in the pancreas, on a Tuesday. Friday he entered hospice and on Sunday morning he was gone. 3 days, 72 hours, and life changed forever. He was my best friend and my caregiver. It was he and I, and the cat. He helped me through my battle with breast cancer in 2006 and in April, 2009, I came out of remission and it was back with a vengeance. There is no cure. Just radiation in spots to ease the pain. I retired from my job in New Mexico where we had lived for 21 years and uprooted to Nevada to live with my Mom. It is ironic how we were preparing for my death and he got to get out first. I talk to him every day. He doesn't answer. I wonder if we truly meet up after death or if that is all religious b.s. to keep people on their best behavior so that they will go to "heaven". My prayers are with you. If you find a way to ease the pain, let me know. They say it gets easier with time, but for me, there is not much time left.<br />
Your new friend,<br />

I'm so sorry for your lost. I hope one day that you may find your way back to love and life Her is a poem for you that I wrote today. I hope you enjoy it.<br />
<br />
Lovers Death<br />
<br />
Do you remember that day<br />
We sat on the beach<br />
And you said to me<br />
“you seem so sweet like a summers breeze <br />
But you are so much more to me <br />
You are my dream <br />
So if you don’t mind I don’t want to wake up.”<br />
So I sit here and look at that smile upon your face<br />
That smile I saw on that wonderful day<br />
But there is no more life in it<br />
No more time left in us<br />
So I say to you<br />
“You are more than a summer breeze<br />
More than a dream<br />
You are my friend, family, and lover<br />
In the oceans wind and the land of my dreams.”<br />
These words are for you to share<br />
These words of my<br />
Lovers’ death

i am so sorry for your loss. i know it has to be so very hard on you.hold on to those wonderful memories. at a time like this sometimes people say the wrong things, even though well intented. i just hope in time your pain will ease .

i think u have To SMile maybe she's happy up there <br />
jus remember the good times with her and pray 4 her <br />
i feel You and if God Will u will be happy <br />
<br />
pray 4 her every day

I can only tell you of a story that helped me through my griefs (of which they are many):<br />
<br />
Think of your grief as a large black ball, and take three empty jars of differing sizes.<br />
Put the black ball in the small jar, and notice how it fills every available space.<br />
Now take it from the small jar and put it in the next size jar. There is now some space in the jar, but the ball has stayed the same size.<br />
Now take it and put it in the largest jar. There is more space around but the ball is still the same size.<br />
Think of the jar as your personal world - when you increase the size of your world, then the grief will seem not to take up so much room in your life, but it will still be there.<br />
<br />
Bye the way, I know from personal experience that the 'afterlife' exists - we just carry on with our lives, and are patiently, but sadly, awaiting a wonderful reunion later on. Take heart from that if you can please.

love to you my brother......i don't want to outlive ayone i love

My deepest condolences to u I havent lost anyone close to me so I cant say I understand, but I do feel ur sadness, to be able to share ur life with someone that makes u as happy as u were is truly a blessing and gift from God , take comfort in knowing that god has a plan for everyone's life and he has one for u trust him believe that he has a plan for u.

I just read your story at the end of 09 I lost my father at 7years of age and mother 17 it broth it all back to me .for years and years i was lost .Meet my wife had 4 kids very happy .You have to keep going my glass is allways half FULL keep going GOD bless P S only leared read and write at 30

Love Stacey: I hope you come to the realization that you were blessed with her love and companionship for the time you had together. We all share your pain in some form or other. Every human experiences loss...what you make of the time together and your re-membrances of her will help you in the next life you live with her. We repeat our lives until we get them right. The mere fact you tried to save her life is important. She can reside in your heart forever.

Don't be misled. You only have one chance to get your life right.

I'm sorry for your loss...I can only imagine how it would feel to beside the love of your help and not being able to help them when their dying. Keep your head up things will turn out fine. She's watching over you right now think of it that way ...I do.

Dear one,<br />
<br />
how we are all connected, at some point in our lives we will all have experienced loss. I am so afraid of loss that I avoid even having things in my life to truley love fearing the loss that could come. Avoiding pain has always been my main concern. Because I always say to self, what if they are no longer around, how I would miss them or perhaps never be happy again. But then there's the part of joy, joy of loving someone even a beautiful animal, no matter how big or small. You have loved and will love again that is why we are blessed with so many people in this world, ideas, pets, hobbies, art, music and the a gift of ex<x>pression. keep expressing your feelings, you may feel so hurt right now, but know that you will feel good again. The best remedy do and comfort someone who is hurting to. Much love to you!

stacey is not in pain anymore.She will always be with you.Iknow it must be hard for you.I'm sorry for your loss I hope you can go on for her she would want that for you.

I to have lost family...parents and a 7 year old daughter. My comfort comes from knowing this world is not our home. While I am selfish enough to have wanted to keep my loved ones...I know they have reached their reward and that I celebrate for them.<br />
Be Blessed

i feel so sorry for this story i feel so sad for u i also lost my lover he was on the accident while i go to the mall .he's was waiting for me .he was driving to the petrol station n there is a lorry came through his car and.............................................. i lost him :(

i am so sorry for your loss.. things will get better in time as long as you don't give up and you keep getting out your pain as long as it takes- there is no time line for grief- hang in there and feel free to email me at if you ever want to talk.<br />
take care<br />

how...poor you are..don't worry..just keep her in your heart..

my condolaces to you in your loss of stacey it is sad that she died so sudden and you didnt even get the chance to say good bye or tell her how much you loved her but remember this although she is no longer with you in body she is always with you in sprit and forever in your heart and thoughts

My heart goes out to you. I have no magic cure! What I will say is- And I KNOW you have heard this a million times. . . . I know you are probably sick to death of hearing it but. . . . .IT DOES GET BETTER!!! Honest! You will see!! Until then, try and look after you, and talk to her heaps. My darlin has been gone for over 6 years but its like yesterday. Talking to them and sharing your thoughts helps. Be strong and try not to despair.!

i know how its feels to lose the love of your life! i lost my darling husband roger on the 12th february 2009 we were married for twenty three lovely years~now my house and my heart are so empty! dont think i will ever be happy again i love and miss him dearly ! my heart aches with sadness, i feel your pain and your sad loss.<br />

I know. There are never any words to express that kind of pain and loss. I have experienced it four times. I want you to know I am still here a bit battered and not the same as before but here. I will keep looking for reasons to go on no matter how hard. If for no other reason but to see a beautiful crisp blue day any where.

I know. There are never any words to express that kind of pain and loss. I have experienced it four times. I want you to know I am still here a bit battered and not the same as before but here. I will keep looking for reasons to go on no matter how hard. If for no other reason but to see a beautiful crisp blue day any where.

loosing a loved one is very painfull,i have lost a son, and my heart felt torn to peices,its very traumatic when your there to see them go and i understand your feeling of helplessness at not being able to save her .the one thing that will not change is your love for her,greiving can take quite a while for some people ,were all different but we all greive and encourage you to keep talking and chatting wherever you can because it helps to express those feelings and not take them in.unfortunately death and loss are a natural process ,if wish it was not the case but it is,its one of the hardest things about life ,the more you love someone the more it hurts when there thoughts are with u at this time ,keep sharing and heeling will come to you in time

bless you

This story is sad to loose someone, dearly to you. It will take time to get pass her. But soon you will understand she would not want you to be so sad , she would want you to go on with your life. Your hearts will always be together and your memories intact. I wish you the best.

the loss of a partner must be so heart wqrenchingly difficult for you but it may warm you to know that there is a way of dealing with should you choose to ry it.<br />
I had therapy myself when my Dad died of cancer a few years ago and I was encouraged to try a visualisation technique which retains the memory of the person but the emotion surrounding their departure is gone.<br />
In a very quiet room I had to close my eyes and visualise going up in a hot air balloom with packages of all the hurt and bad emotion tied up with parcel paper and string. When the balloon gets to the deepest part of the large blue calm lake, you throw the parcels over the side one by one watching each one fall into the deep clear water and disappear until they are all gone.<br />
It really worked for me and now I can remember my Dad clearly and without the stress and trauma of holding vigil by his bedside for 4 days while he slipped away.<br />
I do wish you well and hopefully one day you will be able to remember with the love and affection that held you both together without the pain of the loss.

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to hurricane Ike a year ago, he was afraid to leave our property because of looters, so I took our children and went further inland. I wish I could have spent his last minutes with him, so much was left unfinished and unsaid, and now he's gone forever!

I am sorry for your lose and hope the best for you in the future, I'm sure she would want that

Wow! I do pray that you arevhealong and that youfind comfort here with friends.

I understand and no words can console you. My daughter died in 2001 three<br />
years after my exhusband and I split. My other daughter is fine thank goodness,<br />
doing what she should be doing. I have plenty of friends but I have days<br />
that go on for ever. Then I rent a silly movie and laugh all out loud by myself.<br />
I still enjoy life but know that I am separated from the average person.<br />
Some of my women friends have never even been married let alone have<br />
had children so they say that I am fortunate to have experienced all that I have<br />
lost as it was a gain. I guess that "it is better to have loved and lost" and so<br />
on but I still can understand the feelings.

I am 40 years old wand was married to my best friend for 11 years (well short 1 mos) he drowned while I was there on July 26, 2009 ( the day before by 40th bday) I keep waking up (if I sleep) and wait for a moment before opening my eyes in case this was all a nightmare & he will be sleeping next to me. I feel for your los, I would never want anyone to feel this pain.

I lost my husband, my lover, most of all I lost my best friend. He died January 31, 2009. I understand exactly how you feel with her not around and the empty house. I got rid of the house and have moved twice. Once with my mother and now with my sister. I am comfortable here but I still get lonely without him. I just wanted you to know that no matter what you choose to being there at the house if you leave it everything still follows. So, take your time. I tried dating twice....dont bother. I have desided to just stay really busy. I usually wear myslef out to where I can at least sleep at night. Staying busy is easier to deal with it for me. I still cry, I still think about him all the time, I always wonder when will this end, and I cant stand the changes that this has caused me to live moment by moment to day by day. I went to Florida thinking that it would help and I caught myself thinking about him all the time I was there. I pray for both of and just want you to know I care. We were married for almost 12 years but we were together for 15 1/2 years.

I am very sorry to hear that you lost the one you loved so much. I believe that there really is a purpose for everything in life, it's just that the purpose of some of those things really hurt. Sorry.I hope you find the comfort you need, when you need it the most. From a caring heart in Winnipeg Manitoba.

My deepest condolence to you. It is really sad that your beautiful relation had come to an abundant end... remember this she is watching over you all the time and your memories will never fade treasure them.

the pain that you feel equals the love that you had. I envey that. You both had health problems and yet you were there for each other until the end. She knew she could count on you, and you were there for her. You can't change when God calls her home, and God surely wanted you two to love each other and that love will never be forgotten. Dont' let her death ruin your love, cherish her memories, she would not want you to be sad. Soon, when you have grieved enough, you might try to go out..........just find a female to talk to, we are the sensitive type you know. No one can ever replace her, but your heart is large enough to love again, to love over and over. So keep her memories, cry when you need, and know that for every tear you shed, theres a smile with love coming from her in heaven. She knows you love her, now its time to take care of yourself.............

So sorry for your loss. My soulmate for almost 7 years died just over two years ago, and I will always miss her. For me, the deep grieving lasted over a year and a half. Let it flow out of you, do not be afraid of it. This is one of those times when a man should cry. Give full voice to your pain, it is good and proper to do so. Let it all out, and when the time comes for you to go forward you will know it. I also agree that you should hold onto memories of the happy times, and realize that she wants you to be that happy in the future.

My husband died suddenly Sep 8 2008 just 3 days before our trip to Spain .I now how you feel .I still can,t get over His passing and there is no single day I don,t think about Him .We were married for 32 years and it is very difficult to live as a single person and ajust to new situation .Friends and Family are telling me it takes time you will get better and I hope it will .But they have no idea how I feel in the evenings,weekends being alone in the empty and silent house I hate it and then I don,t feel like to go out or to see people I live with my pain alone.I just pray God will give me strengh and eventuly I start living my life without my Husband

to think that she looked at you and knew she was must have been sorry.

Greetings, I would like to first and foremost offer you my deepest sympathies. I lost my father to a fatal heart attack, however unlike you I did not have to watch the suffering- he passed in his sleep. I cannot imagine the heartache you feel, it must be unbearable.<br />
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I do however have a pearl of wisdom to pass to you that has helped me tremendously deal with my father's passing. I often find people whose lives he touched with his kindness and good nature. People I often did not know he even knew. It is then that I realize that he is not truly gone nor forgotten. His physical presence is no longer with me-but- the essence of him remains- his message- his purpose. I'm not an overly religious person but I do believe every person has a unique gift to share with the world and when they do it is like when you throw a stone in a pond- the ripples keep magnifying. I like to think that my father's purpose is passed on, or magnified by those whose lives he touched. And some days when I'm with his friends or my family although he physically isn't there, his spirit- his message and gift fills the room and I know he will never truly be gone.

A very similar thing happened to my mother when my father died from a heart attack. Just remember, you were there for her when she needed you most. I know that is only a small comfort, but it is something. You were holding her hand. It seems small, but it was more important than you may realize. <br />
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Talk to her. In your mind, out loud if you want to, and in prayer. She will always be with you. Always. Your pain will subside, and I pray you will find happiness in love again. Do not worry about her, but know she is happy in heaven and she wants you to be happy too. She will always be with you.

I have lost my entire family in a short period. Both my brothers (just kids), my father, mother, a son, my first wife, and a son in law. And while I am sorry for your loss, I know that, while people truly do feel for you, what gets you through the day is only the inner strength you posses. Sharonorwig is right - God is great. And I will add - Life is about perception. What we believe about what everything is about is what gives us what we live by. While we are truly sorry for your loss, our sympathy, or empathy does not bring back your soulmate, nor does it explain "WHY". That seems to me to be the answer we never get when we question how such perfect love is so tragically interupted. The truth is that, without a perception, or belief about what it will bring to our lives, and what it means for us, we will never be able to carry on. Know this, for me, and perhaps eventually for you, I was forced to believe that we are finite beings, and that to live requires us to die. What gets me through is not neccessarily accepting death as a part of life, but rather - what will be my purpose in this tragedy, and will I be one day reunited. You WILL gain strength in teaching yourself to believe that, this life we live is not measured in the quantitative sense, but rather, the purpose we find and execute in knowing that, God has chosen to let us remain for a greater purpose than we imagined. "BELIEVE" love stacey, that you will in fact be reunited, but more, that you have served the purpose for which you were allowed to have extended to you. Make yourself know that God did not take your soulmate, but rather use this as a vehicle to live out your passion in such a way that once you ARE reunited with this angel, you would have served God, and your purpose. Only then can you truly carry on with joy. In the mean time, please know that, while none of us can be next to you in bed at night, or when you are alone with your tears, we will all, be it through mere thought or prayer will be with you, to comfort you in a spiritual sense. You ARE truly Gods' weakness. We all love you, because love, God, and you, are intrisic.

I am so sorry . I am also jelouse of the love you shared you are a blessed man that you knew her few of us will know that degree of love.Praying helps

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Wow that is so hard to think of. I lost my love in an accident And I went into a coma and didnt wake for three months. never got to see him again. But what you went through was so painful. But you were with her she knew you were there and she went away with a smile knowing you loved her so. God is great and she has to be so happy and love like yours will be there when you go. I do feel so bad for your heart but try to remember. She is so happy now. And one day you will get to love her again. It is ok for you to go foward and be happy yourself. This is what she would want. You need to love and be loved. It is ok she would want you to smile and feel good. Her loss was so hard on you but you must go on. Good luck in all you do. And may God bless you and help you to find the peace you so despertly need.

You got a chance you share your life with a wonderful person, hold those thoughts in your heart forever, but remember that she would want you to go on and be happy again.

I lost a love to a car accident when he was 17 years old. I keep thinking I see him eveywhere but he's dead so that's not likely real. I miss my boyfriend still...some 40 years later and will always wonder what might have been.