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Love and Loss

A personal story in the experience: I Am a New Member At Experience Project
M y Story is one you could have heard before.  it was a week after the twin towers in New York went down and I was in my apartment alone.  I was on line downloading music and chating with my neice who was around 15 or so and she was chatin with what was to become my love of my life and someone I spent 8 wonderfull years with.  I married her 3 years ago and she and i have lots of problems with our bodies.  I have back and feet and eye problems and Stacey had heart problems.

 

     Stacey Died oct 27,2008 at the foot of our bed.  She was standing up getting dressed to go to see her heart doctor and I was down stairs feeding our pet birdies, when all of a sudden i hear her screaming.  I ran upstairs and she looked at me and she looked really bad.

     I called 911 to get an amblance and she sat down on the floor and she held my hand and just looked at me.  A few seconds later she let my hand go and she laid down on the floor and started to spit up things and turning blue.  I tryed cpr till the police and the rescue came but I couldn't save her.

     she was worked on over an hour in the emergencey room but they couldn't save her.  I'm totally destroid and I'm trying to go on.

    I love her so much and I miss her and this house and my life is so empty without her

 

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Posted Dec 26th, 2008 at 2:10PM
My deepest condolences to you. I cannot begin to imagine the depth of your pain and sorrow.

Still, I hold high hopes that one day you will rediscover a life of fulfillment and joy. Still, the time it takes for this experience to become mere (but intense) memory, and it will be a hard journey.

I wish I could offer you something more than my deepest sympathy. Take comfort in the fact that, though it was hard for both of you at the end, you were together for one of the most important moments in her life.
+3 nods     
Posted May 28th, 2009 at 1:59PM
Hi. Maybe you don't want her to "become mere (but intense) memory" like Letters said. My point is, people sometimes say things that are hurtful, but it's not that they are mean, they are simply ignorant. They don't know how you are feeling, and they don't know their words hurt.
I have lost loved ones and by no means I want them to ever become a just a distant blurry memory. It made me really really mad when people suggested things like that. I just learned with time that they mean no harm, but they just don't know what else to say.
Something that helped me feel better was to stay away (not forever but for a several months) from people who talk like that. The latest thing I've done was to allow myself to continue to live; to act as if I was alive again even if I feel dead inside.
I'm still working on it, and some days like today, I can't even drag myself to work. I called in sick. But it's ok, I know it takes time, and sometimes you take 3 steps forward and then 2 steps backwards, but that is fine. At least I see that I have the ability to move forward.
I hope you get to feel alive and enjoy life again some day.
The best of luck for you.
     
Feeling cheerful
Posted May 28th, 2009 at 2:08PM
Well said Lexxie ...

Ls time is the only real healer , Stacey will for ever hold a place in your heart and in your mind , so taking a chance on life again is by know means a bluring of her memory , so take some time to settle yourself .
     
Posted May 28th, 2009 at 2:15PM
I have lost 4 family members in 2 yrs. I do not sympathize, I empathize with you. it is very hard to lose a loved one. Even with all of my medical training, (I have been in the medical field for 16 yrs.) it still hurts to lose someone close to you. I wish you heart peace and extend friendship to you in hopes that you will be able to move on and put the past behind you. Rather than looking at the past, I wish for you, love and resolution while you are healing from such a deep pain.

Sincerely,
Classy
     
Posted May 28th, 2009 at 2:15PM
I have lost 4 family members in 2 yrs. I do not sympathize, I empathize with you. it is very hard to lose a loved one. Even with all of my medical training, (I have been in the medical field for 16 yrs.) it still hurts to lose someone close to you. I wish you heart peace and extend friendship to you in hopes that you will be able to move on and put the past behind you. Rather than looking at the past, I wish for you, love and resolution while you are healing from such a deep pain.

Sincerely,
Classy
     
Posted Jun 5th, 2009 at 4:44PM
Through writing I have found comfort maybe thse words will help you through it...I share them with people who are on the same journey
http://communicationbites.blogspot.com/2008/12/how-writing-overcame-grief.html

also
http://poetryinpubs.blogspot.com/

Mx
     
Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 8:52PM
it is a hard road to travel and there is no way to make it easier for you.
I am sorry.
All I can tell you is that eventually the pain gets less sharp and you will able to think of a happy thing with her and not burst into tears.
     
Posted Aug 7th, 2009 at 12:31AM
I lost a love to a car accident when he was 17 years old. I keep thinking I see him eveywhere but he's dead so that's not likely real. I miss my boyfriend still...some 40 years later and will always wonder what might have been.
     
Posted Aug 9th, 2009 at 12:09AM
You got a chance you share your life with a wonderful person, hold those thoughts in your heart forever, but remember that she would want you to go on and be happy again.
+2 nods     
Posted Aug 9th, 2009 at 6:16PM
Wow that is so hard to think of. I lost my love in an accident And I went into a coma and didnt wake for three months. never got to see him again. But what you went through was so painful. But you were with her she knew you were there and she went away with a smile knowing you loved her so. God is great and she has to be so happy and love like yours will be there when you go. I do feel so bad for your heart but try to remember. She is so happy now. And one day you will get to love her again. It is ok for you to go foward and be happy yourself. This is what she would want. You need to love and be loved. It is ok she would want you to smile and feel good. Her loss was so hard on you but you must go on. Good luck in all you do. And may God bless you and help you to find the peace you so despertly need.
     
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