Precipice

Just trying to delay the inevitable of another snow day by scoping the net. Interesting site, heart wrenching and unfortunately, I have lived some of your life stories. If you any of you read my statement, I hope it helps. Six years ago, I was on the precipice of finding some contentment in my life through purpose  and  pride. In my life, ( all 30+ yrs, I was rarely if ever proud of myself) , but I got into law school, tier one. Never in my life had I been so proud or in love w/ life, because this graduate degree was for me and earned on my own. That spring of '03 my father, whom I was angry, fell gravely ill. We weren't on good terms at the time for recent and current indiscretions, needless to say, he eventually passed away20+ months later. I will forever miss my father and despair over a law career I had to surrender to familial responsibility.

Fast forward 4yrs to my daily struggle of caring for my elderly mother and struggle w/ a dilapidated house my parents didn't care enough to maintain. I do this on my own, w/ out familial support, minimal funds or support. It could be worst and realistically, circumstance probably will reiterate. Yeah, I'm bitter because even before my dad became ill, I've sacrifice my happiness for both my parents welfare. But that was my choice, regretful as it may be.

I share my story w/ you because in some of the posts I've read, many of you look to others to validate or fill that emptiness. But the key is you. I'm the first one to say I know I've been guilty of the same sin, but I want anyone/everyone to know the key is themselves. Don't procrastinate or wait too long like I did, life can change on a dime. Tragedy and strife beyond your control can bury you more efficiently and permanently than loneliness. Don't waste time, look forward and work, develop your dreams because fate can step in to suffocate you w/ responsibilities or circumstances beyond your control.  Life moves quickly, and before you turn around, its over, don't be a victim.

 

pathology pathology
41-45
Mar 2, 2009