Ok.... Soooo, about a week ago I was having one of my struggling to sleep nights. My mind trying to keep up and process my inner deep emotions. But all I wanted was just to feel secure in the comfort of strong arms. You know that feeling when you are in a vulnerable zone in yourself and all of a sudden you hear your inner child shout out in echo..."Please just hold me"....That shout vibrates with sadness and then you grab your pillow tight as you begin to feel a tear well up in your eye....Anyway I was typing names in the interweb search bar, trying to dig deep in my memory file of any childhood friends that may actually care enough to want to hear from me, wonder if I'm doing ok or even if I'm still alive.....'BLANK!!!!'....There was no one. I actually had tried before and the few I THOUGHT we had a good friendship, turned out to be nothing more than an aquintance.
So I then again found myself tapping on the keys trying to think of what i could type in the search bar.
...."Alone and in need of a hug".....lol how silly I thought laughing at myself. Like you could really find a hug on the interweb. Oh yeah, as per usual when you type in certain words in search, the tag association came up with lots of dating sites. But then one in the list stood out, a small paragraph writing about them being up at night and stuck feeling like I was. Hmmmm let me check this out....And I then found myself here at the EP depo. I can see from just my short time here how different and interesting an experience it is going to be here...Be nice to feel connected with like minded people with similiar life experiences....Keeping positive :)
missingmyspice missingmyspice
36-40, F
1 Response Aug 20, 2014

I HAVE POLANDS SYNDROME: YHEA, IT IS NICE TO KNOW WHERE EVERYONE IS, BUT SAD TO KNOW SOME ARE "REMEMBERED" ,SCARY TO KNOW YOU'LL NEVER SEE SOME EVER AGAIN, AND LOVING TO SEE THAT ONE LITTLE GIRL ALL GROWN UP AND SUCCESSFUL, BETTER, TO KNOW YOU'VE HELPED SOMEONE OUT, TERRIFYING TO KNOW SOME ARE HUNGRY. THEY WOULD WANT YOU TO BE A GOOD SAMARITAN AND GIVE, THAT IS HOW YOU MADE FRIEND'S IN THE FIRST PLACE, TO EVERYONE I KNOW, AND ONE'S THAT DON'T KNOW ME: I LOVE YOU, TAKE CARE, YOU'RE PAIN KILL'S ME, GET LOVE, YOU'RE FRIEND: JOHN