Lost Identity

I am a new member at experience project.  My husband was a briliant man but also tortured by his past.  13 years ago my husband woke me one morning..  He was freightened and procedeed to tell me he had a preminision of his own death. He went up a long stairway....the closer he got to the top, the better he felt, less worries, concerns, peace, love...as he approached the top he saw his father (who has previously passed away) and antoher man.  They both had golden locks of hair and wore robes.  His father told him there was a beautiful room waiting for him but he would have to return because the room was not quiet ready.  Because my husband felt so much love and relief from lifes pressure he resisted but ultimately had no choice but to return.  Approx . 1 month later my husband had a massive heart attack and died. In the weeks before his death - he withdrew all money from his bank accounts and put the money in his dresser draw, he put our condo which had no mortgage in my name to protect it from his exwife.   My husband use to take a couple puffs of weed before going to sleep. each night...he said it relaxed him.  The night before he died he was parinoid and told me to get the week out of the house and vacuum out the container he use to keep it in. Approx. 1 week after Joe pased I had a dream which I believe was real.  My husband came to me through the kitchen wall.  He looked radiant.  When I asked him where he has been he told me he wemt to the room and it was beautiful.  He was surrounded by radiant glow of which a tiny pinch of that light or glow touched my toe.  From that point on it seemed as if I was on a mission to understand death, dying and the afterlive.  Since I have developed a comfort level with death and what is to come but wish I understood my husbands preminision, his coming to me to tell me about the room.  I also have reoccurring dreams that my husband is right within my reach but I cannot get to him and he is extremely mad at me. This is very troubling and I so wish I understood what that means.

donnab13 donnab13
46-50, F
1 Response Mar 7, 2009

Wow, what an incredible story. Thanks for sharing. Hope you are doing okay.