I'm 23 and in a weird place in my life right now. I haven't been working since April and it's really starting to take a toll on me. I wake up feeling useless and a burden. I feel ashamed that I am not looking after myself at this age I should be independent and at least happy. Don't get me wrong there other things that have prevented me from working. I'm not just a lazy person who's just sitting at home complaining. I just find it difficult to find something to look forward too or be happy about. I just feel like my life is not much of a life to live and it would be better if I would just stop breathing and die peacefully. But then I think about my family and how I would be such a coward to kill myself because things are just tough right now. As the saying goes 'This too shall pass'. The thing is I feel like I've been feeling like this for years now and it just feels like it's getting worse. I've never been so depressed. They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem but I just can't find any other solution that would satisfy me other than death.
KimK91 KimK91
26-30, F
2 Responses Sep 2, 2014

I know how you feel Kim. You are not alone. I haven't worked for several years, due to a disability, and I often feel like I am a burden to society.
What you say is true. There is a real pride in earning your worth and picking a pay check up at the end of the week! No one believes me when I tell them that, but it's sooo true.
As much as I hated allot of the jobs I have had over the years and for all the complaining we all did at lunch or on break about our boss or having to work over time, I would take that life back in a second if I had the chance. Unfortunately, I am not physically well enough to work and I never will again.

You sound to me like you may be suffering from depression. Have you ever tried counseling? Often when life isn't going our way, we can get bummed out, but suicide is not the answer! I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but it is a very selfish way to deal with your troubles. While you will no longer be in pain, your actions will hurt those left behind to deal with the loss.
You said you cannot work, but didn't say why. Are you well? If so, while you continue to look for work try volunteering your time to someone that is worse off than you are. As miserable as you feel, the act of helping someone else and putting yourself in the shoes of someone that has it worse than you do, can really help you to put things in perspective.
If you would like to talk, just message me. Sometimes just having someone to talk to can help.
God Bless-

You haven't found your purpose or inspiration.

It's not that I know what I want to do with my life. I'm held back from having the right to work or go uni. So I'm just left in this situation that I didn't put myself in and I can't get myself out of it. The decision is just left to someone else to decided.

Oh, I'm sorry.